love yourself

A Question For You?

by Vashte on August 28, 2014

Thankyou for reading my website! I am encouraged by hearing from you and would love your feedback…..

I am Vashte

HI! This is me. Vashte. And I would like to hear from you – reading this post. 

Would you be so kind to tell me why you are here – on my site? 

How did you find it? What were you looking for?

I started this site after the sudden death of my partner- to cancer. It was a shock to many, myself included. I wrote predominantly on empowerment, strength, determination and the healing health journey – mind, body and spirit. Encouraging others, encourages me and I find it easy to write from the heart.

I have, for all my life, supported, encouraged and powered – from behind the scenes. I did not have the belief in myself to stand on my own, I mean – why would you want to listen to me? Friends might.. family don’t- and strangers- well I just smile and look pretty. It seems all my life others could see what I had to offer, but not I. I wanted to, but there was something big holding me down. I know what it was, and it is very annoying that something I was completely aware of could still hold me down. I let it you see.

When you don’t face your issues they control you. It appears scary to face them – but when that day comes- and I hope you face yours sooner than I chose to face mine- they run for cover. Because the truth will set you free. Perhaps one day I will talk about that issue- I am sure it will help someone somewhere out-there knowing that I have personal issues too. You see, I don’t know that some of you think I do. I often write on ‘belief in self”, ‘encouragement’, ‘self esteem’- please remember I am human too and have the same ‘fears’and set backs as anyone else.

Consider this: Your perception is your reality- your reality is your perception. Think about that :)

When I lost my partner- when he was stolen from this earth, my life changed dramatically. Inside out, upside down, topsy turvy. But not in an out of control kind of way. Not in the way so many experience when they lose a loved one. I was at Rhema Bible College that year, as he was, studying for my (our) diploma in Biblical Studies. Let me tell you- I had NO desire to go as I was high on life building his (our) business!! I was taking it global baby! I LOVED it!! But he wanted to go study- so I went along like a petulant school girl, kicking and screaming. On the first day- I was hooked. What a miracle. Funny that. Little did I now what that year had in store for us. Interesting how God puts us in places to protect us- isn’t it. Places where we will be blessed despite what is comes. From ANY direction.

Inside out, upside down, topsy turvy year and year after that. I found out what I was made of.. again. When life throws mud at you- make mudcakes. So there. Why wallow in it? Get up and do something about it. So … this site started as a place for you to get to know me.. on my own. As a single entity. Out here without the support of anyone else, but you- the people who take the time to read my posts- who are you? Tell me what you enjoy the most, please?  Here, I have taken myself out of the shadowns. Here, for once, I am not selling myself short.. or am I? I’m sure I do it all wrong here – there is no plan- no agenda…

But I ask you – what is it that draws you in to me? Do I still attract you? What do you want to hear from me?

I would really like to know as… it is time I took life to the next level.

It has taken me this long from 2011 to 2014 to settle down again. To recover and to relax. I am now engaged to a beautiful man filled with love, support and encouragement. It would be easy for me to slip back into a ‘behind the scenes role’. But my loss propelled me to a place where I know I have something to say. ..Do you want to hear it? 

I am older than I look. There. I said it. Some people underestimate me because they think I am younger than I am. I have lived lives upon lives upon lives. I have lived lives within lives. I have done things I am not proud of, and have done things that surprised even me! I have encouraged, I have disappointed. I am human. I have studied the mind. I have studied the spirit. I have studied the body. I have studied food. I am a master of none- but a student of all. 

It is time to step further out off the safe ledge and into the unknown. There will always be a safety net. I don’t know what I was afraid of before- was it failure.. or success…. 

I know now that life can be stolen in the blink of an eye. It is not the things that you did that you truly regret in life.. it is the things you didn’t even try. Those are the things you will regret at the end of life.

Wholefood Workshops Sept 2014

My wholefood workshops start in Sept– if you want a close up and personal encounter of the third kind with me and more people like me – make sure you email your spot!! I was asked for these- so I have jumped off and put it out there- did you ask? Do you want to come? If you know even a little about me- you will know that my life walks this walk more than I talk the talk- so many people out there talking talking talking. So many shooting stars. Don’t be a shooting star- be the bright star that shines bright- for a very long time. Shooting stars.. they are here one minute- burnt out the next. 

Success is achieved by consistency. Consistency – so don’t be drawn in by the bright light swishing past. Be the stable light, reliable and standing strong in the end.

I run “Empowerment Coaching” via Skype – fully qualified you can ask for the creds if you are interested- and a qualified Personal Trainer…

VashteB Fashion TV Sports Shoot June 12 - Copy


But my question still remains to you- what is it you like to read from me most of all?

I am going to have this site redesigned with more structure- is there anything you would like to see more of? less of? ….

(I’m not very good  short posts am I?!) Sigh- technology is not my forte- and that’s a shame.

Thanks for listening I am off to make paleo chewy choc fudge brownies for my family tomorrow – now this a truth if ever there was one.. had you known me in London (I lived there for 10 years…)or growing up… you would have fallen off your seat had you even considered the concept of Vashte running wholefood workshops!!!! I managed fine dining restaurants but there is no way I would create the food!! !!! xxx


I would LOVE to hear from you- post comments in the comments sections below- let me grown this site organically :)

XX Vashte xx






by Vashte on May 28, 2014


As I look at my life, I realise it is made up from a  medley of different seasons. Each day leading further into, or as a continuum, or leading out of that season and prepping for the next season I allow, or choose to walk into.

The life I live is my responsibility directly. Noone else’s. Yes, things happen ‘to’ me and around me that are seemingly out of my control. Or are they? When I reflect back and look with open eyes and heart, and with hardcore pure honesty.. nothing I have lived through has been completely out of my control.

I may not have been able to ‘stop’ things happening, especially as a child; but I could definitely have done a little more, or a lot more about them to make my feelings known. I still cannot ‘stop’ some things happening as an adult- but I do have more ability to understand; take myself out of any given situation; choose to ‘put myself in other people’s shoes’; consider different meanings for events that mean one thing to me; ask questions; speak up; action change.

Seasons in life are here to help mold us into the brilliant human beings we are designed to be. And as logical and predictable as the seasons in one year are; so too are our very own seasons. Completely logical. 

The seeds we plant today will be the harvests for our tomorrows. I cant help but relate the parable of the sower, spoken by Jesus (Luke 8: 4-15), to my life today – and yours potentially?

If my seed (my ideas) are thrown away or not even spoken of, my life remains as it is. Life happens ‘to’ me. I am the ‘victim’, and ‘life’ is in control. If my dreams are never even made into goals, they will never become my reality. Life goes on without me, and I will forever be looking on as a spectator- wishing on a star. I fall to the wayside and the world tramples me down.  Survival of the fittest.

When we have courage to go after even a small dream, then we overcome self doubt, and dis-belief. No matter what has happened in life, no matter what people have said- we have the power to change all those things. Don’t live life as a spectator. Don’t be pushed into the gutter. Don’t be trampled down. All it takes is one small step to start changing that.


If I plant on stony ground- what do I expect to grow from that? How do I expect to produce a harvest from that?

I look around my world and I question – is my ground stony? How have I been treating myself and others? Am I loving, considerate, passionate, truthful? If I am walking in truth, then the people around me will reflect that. As will my workplace. As will my home space. Or am I living ‘in ‘ the world- ‘expecting‘ the world to ‘give me what I deserve’? Do I have an attitude of resentment, anger and hatred? Am I hardening my heart, and therefore hardening the soil (world) around me to reflect the negativity I believe to be true? Do I have a chip on my shoulder? Are all people annoying and wrong all the time? Is my patience thin with life? Is my attitude: I work hard… Nothing was ever given to me… Nothing good will ever come.. I ‘deserve’better….? Stony ground.

A world on stony ground is a cold, hard place. Lonely. It is a heart thing. We don’t need to open the heart over night.. Jesus said to ‘guard your heart above all else’, but He did not say to make it hard.  We can start by cracking a smile at work.. to the cafe workers.. to your husband or wife. What eventuates from that one small gesture, can instigate a softening of the heart… softening of the soil in which we live.

stony ground

If I plant seeds with weeds- what can we expect from this? Is a productive season likely to eventuate with weeds all around my precious seeds?

I look around my world and ask myself- am I living with weeds? Am I living in truth, peace and in that space of incredible lightness in being? Am I empowered? Am I empowering to others? Are they listening? Who are the people I connect with? Are they honest, determined and caring? Or is my environment toxic? Are there chemicals all around, and yet the weeds morph into superweeds- condescending, haughty, self righteous? Are there road blocks with every corner I turn? Do I stumble and fall, finding noone to offer a hand up? Do I offer a hand to those who tumble and fall? Are my conversations all about ‘me, me, me’; do I talk behind people’s backs; do I harbour jealousy, resentment, self pity. Do my connections? Are my ideas considered, or are they squashed before the idea is even fully disclosed? Weeds- kill healthy seedlings.

Weed out the thorns in life. Weed the thorns from your own self. Always start with self first, before we look to others. Chances are we harbour the issue ourselves,  which is why we attract such lifestyles to us. Clean from the inside out first and watch the weeds just fall away naturally as we replace those spaces with encouraging, forward thinking, empowered life skills and people. 

When we plant our seeds on fertile soil- of course they grow and flourish. So long as they are nourished.

I ask myself is my life fertile? Do I see blessing in all things? Am I experiencing the beauty that is life? Do I appreciate every day, the opportunities, the people, the lifestyle. Am I making the most of my given days and circumstances. Is there anything I can do to be more of a blessing to myself, and to others? Am I regularly checking my heart space- clearing it from stones, weeds and thorns as they crop up?

Good crop

  • These are all things I constantly remind myself to consider and ask in life.
  • These are all things I need reminding of too.

The seasons that have seemed the hardest, difficult and painful  have been the seasons where I fought. Those were the seasons I wanted to be somewhere or someone else, where I chose to hold on to things that have passed away. In doing so, I chose not to ‘be’ in the moment learning the lessons I needed to learn, to move on. Stuck in the moment... a catch phrase for a reason. Those moment can last years if we are not careful. Even in the midst of heart ache, pain and anguish there is light and hope. There is a reason to move on. When we see the event for what it is, whatever it is, and learn to let it go by learning and accepting.. then we are free. Then we are free to move to the next stage or season.

Every event that has happened, has shaped me to be the woman I am today. In the thick of those ‘life changing’ events are where I realised more power and strength, as well as true joy.

Why would anyone want to change the past? The past is the past. It just is. Noone is changing it. Not ever. So let it go but make sure you learn what you need to learn from it, with an open heart.. See it for what it is- just the past. It can not hurt you. Not if you don’t let it. I use those things that were designed to hurt me the most, to my advantage. I use them to help other people. My past cant hurt me.

Only I can hurt me, and why would I do that?

BE the light so many people, are looking for and needing today.

Understand your season is only momentary- build on it if you like it; observe it and change what you need to change if you are fighting it. it too shall pass. It is only a season. Stop fighting.

xx Vashte xx




It’s my birthday!

by Vashte on February 5, 2014

5 February.

All day long- it is my birthday.

What a fabulous day this is, as it is every year!! So I thought it would be timely for me to return to my blog which has been on hold since Dec 18.. I’m sorry to anyone following my site!!

A birthday can symbolise many different things for many different people. To me, I am grateful for the year that has passed and look with excitement into the year that is to come. The day itself is my day. In fact, the entire month is a great celebration and considered, on the whole, as my birthday so any and all gifts and well wishes are welcomed !!! lol.

I will not let the day go by without honouring my mother, without whom none of this would have been possible!!! An amazing lady highly exonerated in my eyes, and worthy of respect and praise. Lord – I think I have put her through a lot even as a good girl… for the most part!!!! :) (shhh) This is my beautiful Mother who raised me as a solo parent pretty much all my life along with my siblings. Incredible lady.

My Mum

www.vashte.comThis year I plan to take this page in a more focused direction or two. Perhaps three. Still making my mind up. I’m thinking- books to come- recipes to include all my instagram updates and more. Perhaps some inspirational pearls. Youtube channel stoked and moving forward.. Coaching programmes -automated and one on one. What do you think? I probably shouldn’t speak before they are created but as this is my page I’m rolling with it. Lets get this project rolling exponentially.

I’ve been thinking way too long about things but am now in a stable place to take the direction I feel called towards most strongly and then see how the wind blows. In all honesty I may have been under the banner of ”analysis paralysis” and some ”disbelief in self”- can you relate? But the thing is; I have learnt slowly, and the hard way, that life is no dummy run. This is it folks! So give it a go! Just do it! What have we got to lose? The ones who succeed are not the ones whith all the ducks lined up in a perfect row. The ones who succeed are the ones who just give it a go! And you know what? What does it matter if it doesn’t work out?! Life does not end in a puff of smoke! It carries on and you get back up, dust of the dirt and start again. Only this time you have a little more wisdom if you have learnt from the mistakes of the past.

So learn from those mistakes.

This page is an exploration of who I am, what I learn, and how I function in this world of ours. Any thoughts I write are indeed my thoughts and beliefs. You can take them on board; marinate in them; or disregard them. All your choice as is everything in life. I figure if you are following me then there must be something you connect with in me, so that is a good thing. I am your girl next door with a sparkle in her eyes, ready to play when I feel like it, share recipes, ideas, inspiration, and even a little coaching tacked on it you want it…

My mistake has been inertia. That little doubting Thomas sitting on the shoulder whispering: ‘”You can’t do that. You can’t say that. Who do you think you are?” But everyone has this voice at some stage in life. Walk right over that voice and speak what you want. Take action to achieve those goals and you will find, as I will, that the voice gets more and more distant as you trample it with the Truth in Who you Really Are. And that is Success.

Remove the people who bring you down and doubt you. They do not serve a purpose in your life other than to keep you where you are. Mediocre. Do you want to Live Your Life OutLoud? Do you want to live a life Less Ordinary? Then hang out here with me and walk with me in the direction of  your dreams. Make those dreams a reality and therefore a goal. It does not matter how long it takes. It matters that you get up every time you fall and keep going. Lord, sometimes just standing is a momentous feat. Celebrate standing for a moment!!  Life is not a race. There are more people on this earth than you are aware and whatever it is that you have to offer is there for you to access. Your people; your circles of influence, are different to anyone else’s. Do not get into the ”lack” mentality thinking you are too late.

You are right on time. As am I.

And right on time is where I want to be for my birthday dinner so I love you and leave you today – encouraging you for an empowered year this 2014.

Subscribe to this site and I will keep you posted with all developments and updated posts. This year I want to take it to the next level and beyond, so come ride the wave with me. If you dare! Subscribe by adding your email to the top right corner of my home page. I will email you regularly if you want to Live Your Life OutLoud with Vashte!!

Birthday dinner – here I come!!!







by Vashte on December 18, 2013

What does it mean to you?

Christmas John 8 12

  • I love this time of the year.
  • I love the festivity, fun and lightness it can bring.
  • I love my family getting together and just hanging out.
  • I love seeing my nieces excited at the prospect of gifts, fun and laughter.
  • I especially love what Christmas really represents. That is the birth of Christ Jesus, the Son of God; and that God gave His only Son to save us from ourselves. We needed it then and Lord Almighty we need it now!

But what does Christmas mean to most people?  It seems more and more that Christmas means something other than the original gift it actually represents.  More and more we shy away from the Truth of what Christmas is, turning the real meaning of Christmas into a fable untold and forbidden to speak of; and creating some fabricated lie depicting the necessity in  ‘giving’; of a fat man called Santa Claus; of eating and drinking well over satiated state and well into gluttony day in and day out during the month of December and well into January; creating a complete waste as food and gifts are unappreciated, thrown out or resold on ebay.

We are sold movies exploring the lives of complete brats, and wonder why our children behave in a manner much the same. Adults as well. The children are only products of their environment.

Everywhere we look we see gross quantities of presents wrapped under trees; ads instruct us we ‘need’ to have this, that and everything else to keep up with the Jones’;  we are told the Spirit of Christmas is all about ‘giving’- so buy more.

I live on the Gold Coast of Australia. It is hot. Really hot at Christmas here. Even so,  I see Christmas puddings, brandy custards, heavy desserts, cooked hams and meats advertised at me as if I were living somewhere freezing cold where possibly I may have some small desire to consume such foods.. but in the middle of Summer?? Are you kidding??? That is weird- surely you would agree with me here? Summer is a time for light food- BBQ’s; salads, cold cuts.. especially in high humidity and heat. Why are they telling me to eat Winter foods? Yet many people subscribe to this.. “after all it IS Christmas!??” Mental!!!!!

You know something-  isn’t it time we turned around and analysed our own behaviour and the absurdity of it at times? I have to do this constantly myself- am I alone?

Christmas can bring absurd amounts of pressure on families, couples and friends as we ‘expect’ things from others and ourselves. Why? Who made the rules governing the importance of excessiveness?

Christmas represents LIFE. Perhaps we might like to examine HOW we are living LIFE at this time of the year as opposed to just following the herd of pigs jumping of the cliff with the others. We just don’t have to.

Christmas is NOT about GIVING GIFTS. They are nice if you can, without over-exerting yourself or going further into debt. But you can give gifts at any time of the year- remember that. Instead of BUYING gifts, you can MAKE your own if you have the time- most people don’t.  Do you realise that giving your TIME is one of the most important and memorable things you can do?

Think about it- what do you remember most from childhood? Is the gifts you received? If you answered yes, then please name every gift you received last year, the year before that and the year before that- then name the gifts you received as a child and from whom the gift was given…..

Or is it the experiences- the life events – you enjoyed and remember the most and easiest? Many people remember the times in life they enjoyed over and above the gifts. They remember the people they shared those times with; where they were and the feelings associated with those times.

I know we are almost at Christmas now, and many people have done their Christmas shopping- but how about making a decision for next year- that you don’t enter into the rat race of razzle dazzle shopping, stress, urgency. Ditch the gross overabundance in purchasing ‘stuff’ and plan fun times to spend with people you love over and above the gifts.

Christmas John-4-14

I believe Christmas was given to us by God to cherish the people we love, appreciate our year that has passed; and remember our Holy Father and His Son who came to give us life abundantly. It is time of the year we can really remember LOVE and HOW to love. How to appreciate. How to start again.

Christmas ITSELF is the GIFT. It is a time when we can remember that we have HOPE. We have JOY. We have PEACE through Christ Our Savour.

Christmas is a time for peace, love and happiness. It has nothing to do with shopping. Nothing to do with Santa. Nothing to do with gluttony. Absolutely eat, and give if it is within your ability- but it is not the MEANING AND PURPOSE of this time of the year.

Unplug from the matrix and remember the Truth. It will set you free.


(ditch happy holidays!!! What the heck is THAT  slogan all about. Don’t let the modern world suffocate the Truth you know in your heart to be true)

GOD bless you all over this wonderful, love filled season and I pray that you see the light, and seek the Truth to free your Souls now and forever.

xx Vashte xx


God’s Love

by Vashte on November 14, 2013

I have this prayer hanging over my desk. I find it helpful when I lose sight of direction, who I am and/or how God really see’s me. I thought it may help you too in times when you feel like you need something, or would like something of substance to hold on to. It may help you see a little more clearly how very precious you are and how much He so very much loves you. Especially in those times when you find it hard to love yourself. I have been there too you know. x

Psalm 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God…

Child Of God Vashte Bawden

Pray this prayer based on Ephesians1: 17-18; Ephesians 3: 18-19; Colossians1 9-11 and Philippians1:9-11

“Dear God (or Dad),

I ask you to make me intelligent and discerning in knowing you personally and make my eyes focused and clear, so that I can see exactly what You are calling me to do. I ask that I grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life that You have for me. I pray that Christ may live in my heart so that I be rooted and grounded in love and I may be able to understand all the dimensions of this love and be filled with the fullness of You Lord.

I pray that I am filled with the knowledge of Your Will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, and that I live worthy of You Lord. I pray that I am fruitful in every good work and as I am increasing in the knowledge of You, I am strengthened with Your Power.

I pray that I may still have more love – a love that is full of knowledge and every wise insight. A love that always recognises the highest and best and sees my life full of the true goodness produced by the Power that Jesus Christ gives me to the glory and praise of God.

In Jesus Mighty Name,


If you pray this prayer, you will be pleasantly surprised at how you may then see things with open, loving eyes; and have a better understanding of why you are here, and how much you are loved.

Notes on great ways to pray:

  • Whenever you pray, make sure you use God/Dad/Jesus’ name when you start. Just like a letter. This way you address your prayer to the one true God and He will hear you.
  • Base your prayer on promises written in the Bible, if you can. If you haven’t read the Bible yet, or haven’t started, that is fine as He will hear you anyway. When you base your prayer on biblical promises, it is a very powerful prayer. God NEVER breaks promises xx.
  • Always end your prayer by saying “In Jesus name, Amen.” This way you seal the prayer in Jesus’ name. Every knee shall bow at the name of Jesus, above the earth, on the earth and below the earth; so this way you start the prayer to the One you are talking to, and you end it in Jesus’ name. Nothing and no one can stand between you and your prayer.

Awesomely powerful. xx

God Bless you

xx Vashte xx

If you ever want to connect with me asking questions on Christianity, you are more than welcome. Or if you have questions on life itself…




Your Reality- What does it look like?

by Vashte on September 27, 2013

Thoughts – Questions – Ideas

Dreams- Goals- Your Reality


  • Are you aware of your thoughts as you progress through your day to day life?
  • What words do you speak over yourself each day? Are they positive and encouraging, or are they actually negative and dis-empowering?
  • What do you REALLY believe for yourself? -For your today, and for your future?

I am a firm believe that we create our own reality. I know I do. If I do not, then who is creating my reality for me? Media? Friends? Family? Work? The wind? If I take control of my mind by becoming aware of my day to day thoughts, I can then see how I am processing information coming at me, every day in every way. You can do the same too.

Through becoming aware of our thoughts and observing them as they pop up, we can then understand what filters of ‘reality’ we have chosen to live through. And change them if we like.

  • Empower yourself.

  • Empower your world.

I know ‘things’ have happened to each and every one of us that are unfortunate. Very unfortunate. And many downright stink. We have two choices; to live in the past and marinate in what was, has been or could have been; or we can move on.

What do you choose?

I believe the way to live an empowered, successful, easier life is to observe. Observe everything, and choose what you allow in and then choose how those things make an impact on your life. You choose.

You are not governed by emotions. You govern those emotions. That takes practice, and awareness- just as you practice to learn to play a piano or play a sport. Develop the habit of strength. Strength of mind resulting in strength in character.

If we insist on turning back and living in the past, what happens? You turn to salt. You will be preserved back there, in the past,  stuck in an existence that is no longer relevant or meaningful to a world progressing ever forward. You are left behind. What use are we to anyone, including ourselves, by choosing that life? You are born for such a time as this. TODAY. To LIVE in the today, and build into your future. Not remain in the past. So come with me, let go of those memories, learning from them and letting them go.  This is not ignoring the past. This is strength of character.  Acknowledge the past as that which happened, back then. That ‘then’ is not now. Become aware and alert so that you do not have to repeat that learning again.

Use your wisdom.

You do not have to be the sharpest tool in the box to do well in life. No, no, far from it in fact! Look around and truly see who you respect the most in life. Research these people. You may be surprised as to their past, and their upbringing- it takes all sorts. YOU are an allsort too! You do not have to have the highest grades, nor an intellect that surpasses your peers. You do not have to have the most active social media know-how;  be clever,  be smart,  be fancy…. You do not have to be the skinniest, the prettiest, the biggest, the smartest anything in life to rise sky high.

You DO have to grow your wisdom- and you all have that. It resides in each person’s heart. Listen. Take a moment to stop, and BE. When you stop, exit out of the rat race and take a moment to feel the pulse of life.. that is when your wisdom can grow. Learn from life. Become aware of events in and around you. Question everything. But live through love and you will develop an innate ability to discern truth when you hear it and see it. Words, words, words – So many words, so little action following through. Come out of the sleepwalking slumber so many have permitted to fall over their lives. Come out of the matrix.

So many things do not add up in life- why. Ask the question for yourself, and start to look for your own answers. Too many of us have permitted a life of intravenous drip consumerism… must have, want to have, need it.. we have turned our brains off and along with that- our hearts. It is time to wake up world. It is time to reclaim what is yours- your life.

Vashte Bawden

I believe we are created in the image and likeness of God. Why? Because it is written by the handbook of life- The Bible. What Jesus says goes- more-so now than ever before. Oh I realise many people trip out at the name of Jesus, and immediately barriers are raised, ears are closed. I was one of these people as well, until 2008. The thing is- what is written makes so much sense! It resonates with your heart, and plucks at your soul– when you hear the Word of God spoken through Love – something goes off on the inside of you- that is Truth. So many of us do not understand what that feeling, or emotion is.. because we have never heard it, or felt it before. If we get past the wall of anger- and for many there are valid points to that anger – (humans are humans so often twist anything to be used to their own advantage), but when we allow the love of God to flow through and to you- life changes like nothing else.

But back on point- if we are made in the image and likeness of God, as I believe; and if we treat our bodies as the temple they are designed to be, then we permit our minds to function at a optimum levels through correct treatment of the body in which the mind is housed. Right?!

If we unplug ourselves from the factory farm in which so many live, and take back our lives and learn to think for ourselves, then it stands to reason we will live a more productive, fun filled, free life, right?!

  • Do not allow your thoughts to run wild. I used to.
  • Do not allow your emotions to rule your world.
  • Do not allow others to speak negative over you, invalidate their opinions.
  • Do not allow yourself to speak negative over your own life, and stop criticising others!
  • Stop doing things to yourself that you know harm you!

Choose your thoughts wisely- choose your words wisely – choose your food and drink wisely- choose your actions wisely….

You control everything about your life. Take back those reigns. You were born to reign. It is high time men stood up to be men and women stood up to be women!

I am over seeing big bullies push individuals around. It has never been more prevalent than today; patients being bullied by doctors because doctors are being bullied by sales reps of BIG corporations-as well as bribed; Govts being bullied by Big Pharma; boutique shops and restaurants being destroyed by fast food chains with money to market and lie; lies, lies and more lies on your TV which you watch every single day – for how long????

Unplug!! Unplug!!!

Live the life you were designed to live. And if you don’t know what that is, there is little wonder as you have likely been plugged in most of your life!! The wonderful, exciting thing is though, that you are stronger than you know and a very fast learner! Once you start listening to your heart, and doing the things that make you tick- you will soon get a desire stronger than you have ever felt before.. and it is at that point my friends that you have begun to find your passion.

We live in an age where we can reinvent ourselves at any age. So – go for it! Stop and change direction completely if necessary! Just get off that conveyer belt system churning out pork sausages filled with crap!

YOU are better than that!

YOU can do it!

I Believe in YOU!!

It is time for YOU to believe in YOU too :)

xx Vashte xx


CREATE your Joy!!

by Vashte on August 7, 2013

In a world where dreams are stolen, shattered and destroyed every day, it is a welcome respite when you find your light, however faint, still flickering away. Although muted by the events of the world, your candle never goes out. It was designed to withstand the greatest of tragedies, and in some cases shine brighter through those times.

HOPE. Vashte

Realise this: the tiniest candle outshines the darkest dark- every time.

There is hope. There is strength. There are possibilities.

  • You can.
  • You will.
  • You are able and capable.

When you find yourself facing those dark times, don’t give up. Don’t turn and run. Don’t cower and hide. STAND tall. FACE your fear, and you will find it turns into a sniveling little willow the wisp and runs away FROM YOU. Fear is most often a fear of the unknown. Why we are afraid of the unknown is intriguing as the unknown is where we grow the most. The unknown is where the possibilities lie! The unknown is where you go when you want change to happen in your life! How can we expect anything different when we continue to repeat the same behaviour, the same thoughts, associate with the same type of people?

Same shit, different day? Well that can be someone else’s mantra. It is certainly not mine or any of my clients!

The world will want you to believe that mantra. ”The world” is not here to support you in your dreams, your goals or your aspirations… until you make it support your dreams, goals and aspirations!

When they say ”it is all in your mind”.. you better believe it! Because it is!

Think about this if you would:

  • 2 children born into the same family, treated exactly the same but-
  • One child believes for some ‘strange’ they will one day win gold at the Olympics, despite the obstacles, despite parents putting them down, despite school mates poking fun at them.
  • The second child who listens to the put downs, and believes them; Owning those condemning thoughts and useless affirmations =  Believes they will never amount to anything.
  • What do you think happens in adult life?
  • The first child grows into a strong adult, capable of anything, overcoming ALL obstacles seemingly effortlessly.
  • The second child grows into a shadow of an adult, timid and afraid. Shy and quiet. Introverted and introspective. Life is difficult at the best of times.
  • Two individual people, dealing with life in very different ways.

It is all in the mind. Build the strength of your mind.

I believe without a doubt we are ALL made in the image and likeness of God; that we are righteous through Christ. My Bible tells me these Truths. These are integral aspects of learning that ‘man’ does not have the final say over who you are, what you are, nor what you amount to – today, tomorrow OR as you were as a child, nor what you did yesterday. Live within the law of man, yes, but don’t let other people’s opinions as to what you are capable of dictate your life to you!! If you can dream a dream, it is yours to achieve it. Why do you think you dream your dreams, specific to you? Your dreams are different to my dreams! Your dreams are created by you and for you to achieve. If you can imagine it, you can dream it, if you can dream it you can set it in your future time line and make it a goal to hit! Make it fun! Step outside that box! You are stronger than you think you are! Oh yes you are!! BELIEVE it. KNOW it. OWN it.

Find your Joy in this life. It is never too late to start. Awaken to see the Truth in every given situation. Understand you are very special. You are needed in this life. You are here for such a time as this and you fit in perfectly, if only you learn to love yourself the way God loves you. If He sees you as perfect, righteous and beautiful- as He does– why do you not see yourself as this also? SEE the Truth. HONOUR yourself. GROW into the YOU that you are designed to be.

Don’t worry about the past. Make peace with it. Forgive every day, and ask for forgiveness for your mistakes. Allow yourself to change. Allow yourself to explore. Find out what inspires you, what motivates you, what EXCITES you? It does not matter what other people think of these things- they are yours! What other people think of you is not your business so long as you walk in love!  BE the type of person you want to meet! Don’t LOOK for what you want in your world! CREATE it!

You CANNOT change other people. You CANNOT change your husband or wife. You CANNOT change your parents, your children, your friends. You CANNOT change another person. So please stop trying! It is a waste of time and completely redundant! So what CAN you change? YOU can change YOU. TODAY. Right NOW. You can start to look at how YOU can change YOURSELF to BECOME the awesomeness of you! BE kindness. BE joy-filled. BE peace. BE love. BE patience. BE faith. BE all the things you value in life. THEN you will open your life to other people of the same calibre. THEN you will create the change you would like in your life.


There IS goodness out there. There IS life! There is faith! There IS fun! There IS an incredible lightness of being and its all out there!! Ór is all WITHIN you … all it takes is a little exploring, a little understanding, a little open-mindedness, and a touch of love and patience. You have all this and more inside of you! Even if you don’t see it, feel it or think it possible – I DO.

I BELIEVE in YOU. If that is what it takes to help you step up, and out of that box that you currently live within, let ME believe IN you and offer my hand in HOPE and BELIEF until YOU can BELIEVE it all for yourself. You have a MIGHTY God looking down on you, wanting so much to love on you, support you, care for you.. one step at a time. That is my mantra for life. One step. That is all it takes.

One step towards your Joy. Towards your Peace. Towards your Strength. When you take one step, you can take another, and then another, and before too long you have taken yourself, by taking ownership of your own life, into a whole new rhelm- a rhelm of life that is very real, and very tangible for those of us who live in it.

JOY Filled Life with Vashte

If you would like to talk more with me on my coaching programmes, please feel free to make contact. My email is:  I offer my hand in help and assistance. Perhaps I can be that person to walk with you for a short time, or for a long time, side by side through life for a while. Empowering you through mindful strategies, giving you tools in life to aid and assist you in making strategic, healthy decisions; encouraging you to find your Joy, find your Peace, Find your Strength when you think all hope is lost, or you are just looking for some direction.

No matter what- you have everything you need within you. Right here, right now. It may be a simple matter of flicking a switch in your mind, changing a couple of behaviours, or enabling you to fall back in love with life… who knows.. you are unique and every single person is different. And important. And so very special.

You are very, very important, and you are needed in this life. You are needed for today.

“The Joy of the Lord is my Strength” Neh 8:10 Maybe you could let that be your joy too!! It is so much easier that way.

God Bless you and thank you for spending time on my blog xx

xx Vashte xx




by Vashte on June 18, 2013

“He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” Mark 4:9

He who has eyes to see, let him see.

He who has a heart, let him understand. Eyes to see



What is yours thinking today? What is the verbal dialogue you have each day with yourself? Is it empowering, or dis-empowering?  Or do you not even think you talk to yourself? That is OK.  I absolutely do :) This could mean I constantly hear voices.. or it could just mean I like to sound of my own voice- a lot. Let’s roll with the last option thanks very much!

How do you see yourself? Do you view yourself in a positive, vibrant light, or do you constantly compare yourself to others and put yourself down? How do you see yourself engaging with your peers? Colleagues? Friends and family? How do you think they see you?

What do you hear when people speak to you? What topics do you focus on? What words catch your attention? Are they positive or negative? Are they empowering you, or are they disempowering you?

How do you feel about yourself and where you are in life? Do you feel as though you are moving forward at a pace you like? Are you comfortable in your own skin? How would you feel if you changed any aspect of your life and do you want to? How do you feel about making those changes?

Your mindset. Your mind. How you quantitatively place yourself in this world; how you see yourself; what are the words you speak to yourself on a daily basis; what you hear day to day and what do those words mean to you; how you feel about yourself – your mindset can dramatically alter any and all of these experiences through how you translate each meaning for you on a personal level. No two mindsets are exactly the same. Just as no two human beings are exactly the same. We are all unique. We are all designed for a purpose. A unique purpose that only you inherently know or have yet to discover.

Do you, or have you allowed yourself the freedom to explore the desires of your heart? The desires that only you, and God, know?

When you actually take the steps towards your dreams, your experience in life becomes more of an adventure. You begin to walk into the life you were born to create. You empower yourself by stepping out into the unknown. By paving your own walkway you are much like that first person to take those first steps into freshly fallen snow. Do you think others have paved the way for you? Well, perhaps they have paved a similar way to you, with similar dream and goals but no one on this earth has walked your walk. No one on this earth has talked your talk.

Learn from others, absolutely. Be guided by others, absolutely. But you are you and you are here to influence people in your own circle of life. A circle of life that other’s may never be able to reach. You are here for those people. By loving where you are at any given time, you open your appreciation for life and open your learning centre in the mind and spirit to be able to give more. And, just as the smallest pebble thrown into the pond will create a ripple effect- so too you create a ripple effect.

Have you noticed how a tiny little pebble, even thrown gently into a body of water, creates ripples? Not only that, but the ripples get wider and wider and more pronounced as they get further away. And thus it is, living your life.

Never underestimate the power of you. You just being here means something momentous to someone. More often than not, more than just someONE.  Open your eyes to see, open your ears to hear, open your heart to understand.

Life may have thrown you a few rotten apples, perhaps a stinky tomato or two and some of you may even have copped it with a rotten smelly fish on the odd occasion or even too many to remember.. So what are you going to do about it? Sit and wallow in that compost heap? Or would you like to take a look around- see it is a compost heap and decide to make good quality manure from this. This could be very fertile soil if you choose to act in such a way. Interesting concept isn’t it? From what you might believe to be compost, great things could grow.

What happens when you take stinky smelly compost, deposit it on soil, and plant seeds? Hmm Great things grow. Great Things Grow

  • Bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people.
  • Good things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people.

What matters is what you do about it. What you do about anything in your life is what matters. What are you going to do to change your life today? You don’t need to leap tall buildings in a single bound and wear a lycra blue and red suit patterned with a spiderweb to make a difference. To make a difference all you need to do is stop sitting IN that compost. Choose to do something about it and turn it around for good! Change your mindset. Change your stinking thinking. Change your attitude on how you experience life.

Stop thinking the world owes you something. The world owes you jack. Fact. You owe it to yourself to make something of yourself. That something can start by a simple act of you… just smiling. That simple! It really is. It can be, if you choose it. Quit with the excuses. They are lame.

It doesn’t matter how big a compost heap you have been sitting in- in fact- If you are sitting in one mother of a compost heap, I have the audacity to turn around and say YOU have a LOT to give and YOU owe the world a HEAP of good compost. Think about it! If you are surrounded by  all this compost- you have been blessed to be able to recognise the same compost- the same pain– in other people’s lives IF you take the focus OFF YOURSELF and start reaching out to help other people. Pull your own hand in. Stop taking from the world, and start giving. This, my friend, could be the single most powerful thing you could ever do for yourself. Through giving- a little thing like a smile- you could change your own life around; not to mention the life of someone else’s.

We live in an incredibly abundant world. Isn’t it time you opened your eyes to see, opened your ears to hear and opened your heart to understand that there are bigger things out there for you. If only you took the focus off  ‘getting’ for you, and started ‘giving’ some love – even if you believe you have none to give. You do. You really do. Simple- be kind to someone else.. keep going -be kind to another person- challenge yourself to see how many people you can be kind to without the expectation of something in return or you will null and void the gift of giving. Be kind because you can. Because you have the ability to recognise the compost- the same hurt– in other people’s lives.

For choosing to open your eyes to the situations other people may be facing. For opening your ears to what other people are saying, or how they are asking for your help. For opening your heart  to understand that they are in compost too and through you offering a helping hand – you have just empowered yourself by standing taller than you did yesterday knowing that you are right where you are supposed to be at such a time as this.

God loves you more than you could ever fathom or remotely begin to understand. Let Him Love you so that you can Love yourself for who you are uniquely made to be, and therefore love on others to move them out of their compost experience of the world to turn that compost into fertile soil also.

BE the change you want in your own life. It starts with you. Noone else.

No excuses. No complaining. No looking back with regret or remorse. You are here, today, right where you are supposed to be for such a time as this. Change your attitude, change your perspective. Change your  ’lack of’ perspective to an ‘abundant life’ perspective, and give more than you think you can.

Some people truly do not think they even have a smile to give. So give it- and make sure you smile from your heart so that it reflects in your eyes. Your life will change as soon as you do this simple act of kindness- your heart will change – you will allow yourself to love again. And this.. is the most important thing of all. If you would like motivation and help with staying in a positive mindset, you are welcome to pop your name and email down in the box in the top right corner of my home page. I will include you in my weekly updates to this page which focused on encouragement, empowerment, inspiration and motivation as well as some delicious meal and recipes ideas for a healthy body and healthy mind. Give a smile

xx Vashte xx

Thanks for reading my site!! You are welcome to share it with friends and family, and I would love to hear from you in the comments below if you feel the desire to converse with me!!!



Decadent, Raw, Coconut and Chocolate Mousse

by Vashte on June 17, 2013

-Raw, Vegan, Decadent, Organic, Dessert, Processed Sugar Free, Gluten Free-

Enter Chocolate Decadence. Without added refined sugar. Looks fab? It is. :) This dessert is raw, sweet and created in a nano-second (if you have kept your coconut milk in the fridge overnight). Made primarily from coconut, sweetened with dates, and flavoured…any way you desire, this is yet another wonderful dessert limited only by your own imagination!!!

Raw cacao mousse

I recommend making small portion sizes. The flavours are robust. Deep, sensual, chocolaty pleasures of dark chocolate will envelop you if you choose to use raw organic cacao and cacao nibs. Only the best in my kitchen and for my friends and family!! This mousse has such a light texture whilst delivering power packed punches of your chosen flavours. Whilst no ‘sugar’ is added, don’t get caught in the trap thinking there is no sugar in this mousse. Dates are used for sweetness. Dates have one of the highest sugar content available naturally. This is fine so long a you are aware of it. Just keep the portion sizes small- not that you could eat large portions of this in one sitting anyway AND keep in mind- this mousse far surpasses any chocolate option you buy from the shops so please keep ‘sugar ‘and the ”freakiness of sugar” concept in proportion. OK? :)

Savour each spoonful and enjoy slowly allowing the flavours envelope your senses. Appreciate each mouthful. Stop when you have had enough. Enjoy the control you have over what goes into your mouth, how often and how much. If you put a half eaten portion back in the fridge it will still be there when you go back another day to enjoy it! :)

What You Will  Need:

  • 400ml coconut milk- 1 can. Available from the supermarket. Choose organic and a high fat content of 70% or more.
  • 1 cup of dates. I use organic dates from the supermarket kept in the refrigerated section. Make sure you remove the pip!
  • 1/4 cup raw cacao powder
  • 1/4 cup cacao nibs
  • handful of coconut flakes
  • any other imaginative ingredients you might like to add to mousse. If you like vanilla- don’t add the cacao! Add some vanilla instead! Easy!!

How To Make It Work:

The day before pop your coconut milk in the fridge. Leave for 8 hours or so. We need the ”fat of the coconut milk” to solidify – this is the part we want to use. When you open the can, you should find a solid mass. Remove from the can, using a spoon and use the solid part. There should only be  small amount of liquid left at the bottom – use this in your next smoothie.

This recipe is using high fat content. Don’t freak out. The coconut contains one of the best kind of fats your body could ask for. Used smartly, it could even help you lose weight!! Not ALL fats are bad, in fact, THIS fat can be very, very good for our body. Don’t believe the ‘no fat, low fat’ diet myth. It clearly does not work 😉

Dates: you will need to pit the dates if you have chosen to use organic dates. They should be nice and soft. If you are using dates from a packet, they will be tougher. We need the dates to be nice and soft to blend easily. To soften dates, pop them in some warm/hot water and let them soften. Then drain the water out and cut them into halves or smaller sizes ready for blending.

To blend: We want a really smooth, light, creamy texture. To get this we need a good blender or mixer. I use the Vitamix. It is a powerful machine. You can use whatever machine you favour at home! Place the soft, pitted dates in your blender, along with the solid coconut milk. Blend until creamy and smooth to look like this: coconut milk and dates

Perfect. Now add your remaining ingredients. If you are choosing vanilla- add in your vanilla. Jazz it up by adding nuts, raisins, dried fruit- whatever your preference.

I made mine a high quality, hard core, dark chocolate version this time round, so now is when I added my cacao powder, nibs and coconut flakes. Blend, or if you want to have a chunkier texture and leave bits and pieces throughout your mousse, just mix with a wooden spoon. raw dark cacao mousse

Serve in small ramekins and top with coconut flakes (as I did in my case). Or leave as a dark chocolate mousse, baring all glory as is -if you prefer. Again, play with the recipe!

This is a very sweet mousse. I will back off the dates next time and will experiment by dropping the dates completely to try to find a lower natural sugar content mousse version of this. If I add avocado to the mix, and use rice bran syrup – with no dates- I think we could make an awesome vanilla or chocolate mousse, with negligible natural sugar content. So watch this space for variations on this baby. Never-the-less, my mousse is light years better than anything you buy from the shops. All natural, all good for you. And incredibly delish for all you chocoholics out there!!

Serve at room temperature and in ramekin sized portions. You can keep your mousse in the fridge for another day but the mousse will solidify and therefore lose the lightly fluffy texture altering the taste. Just sit it on the bench when you are ready for another hit of natural, raw, decadent, divine health! Let it reach room temperature, snuggle up with a blanket and pop on a great dvd. Enjoy a night in with a healthy version of chocolate!!!! Your body will love you for it …and so will your mind!!!

You do not have to go without in life. All you need are alternative choices in foods and someone to help show you the way. After that.. you start exploring all on your own and start finding your own way. All it takes  is a little help from your friends every know and then. I hope my page can help get you started in exploring a more healthy, fun way to explore how to Live Your Life Outloud...without Dieting…without Restraint…without the ‘bad days and good days’… just learning to love your life, knowing you are making informed choices based on great choices.  Once you learn how easy it is, you are off running!! Until someone shows you, it can be confusing and daunting-  like trying to pin the tail on the donkey! raw cococacao mousse

Enjoy!! If you like this post please:

  • share it
  • comment on it…
  • make the recipe and let me know how you go!!!

If you want to stay updated on this page- pop your details in the box to the top right and I will include you in my weekly updates!!!

xx Love Vashte xx


Time Out

by Vashte on May 15, 2013

My last post was way back at the beginning of April- that’s a month and a bit Vashte. What is your excuse?!Time Out

Fact: I needed some time out. I did not want time out. I was encouraged to take time out, by my body. We all need time out every now and then- don’t wait until you are forced!

It would appear that I have been running on adrenalin for many years. I then ramped it up in the past two. Having drive, and being driven are two very different concepts for the body to work with. Most often we do not know we are being driven while we are ‘being’ driven. Isn’t that great news?! (sarcasm intended). Our adrenal gland is needed to respond to stress. Too much for too long can cause chronic fatigue as well as a number of other health issues. Add a sudden unexpected event in life and our body’s ‘fight or flight‘ response can be activated.

The fight or flight response is activated in a healthy person when that person is suddenly frightened, or when someone surprises them (for example). They will feel a sudden surge of energy, with all senses wired for action and they will usually scream, jump out of the way, or prepare to attack. Then, once the surprise is realised, the body returns back to the normal state of being- the heart returns to its regular beat, and they could laugh, scold or react in some way and the senses then ‘chillax’.

Many people today are running on empty through the stresses of day to day living. Work/career expectations, deadlines to meet; children to care for involving a mammoth amount of running around for social activities these days, feeding their hungry little mouths and dealing with their high octane energy; business and social expectations, meetings to attend; personal goals such as in fitness; further education; making time for your husband or wife not to mention family events .. and then there is you. Our calenders are overflowing with events- there is ‘never enough time in the day!’  Sound familiar? We live in constant adrenal overdrive– as our bodies are put under more and more stress, good and bad; we deal with it. You know it’s true! You make a way for all these things to happen somehow. We are all some form of Superman or Superwoman – not really through choice but through expectations we either allow other people to put on us, and those expectations we put on ourselves.

The body is an incredible machine. It is designed to survive and win. And it does- look at you now! After all you have put it through it is still here, doing the absolute best it possibly can- with or without your help. Most people today offer it no help whatsoever. Some (many) seem to have a death wish and choose to punish their bodies in every way possible. Who is winning? You, or your body? That body is. No matter what state YOU put it in- it is fighting to keep you breathing and functioning at optimum levels for the state you have put yourself in.

So ‘running on adrenals’ is a common thing in the world today. Many do not make an effort, let alone a concerted effort,  in caring for this body we have been given to rent. Not really. Not the majority. We push our bodies to the extreme; we do not allow them to rest nor sleep enough; we do not choose healthy food options opting to overeat in most cases, or undereat in others; many drink alcohol in excess especially in the weekends; many take drugs legal and illegal, we cover ourselves in toxic chemicals and clean our homes with those same toxins; we work REALLY REALLY hard. We are constantly tired. This is adrenal fatigue. This is running on empty.

What happens when a major event in life occurs to a body running on empty, and or fueled with toxins, and filled with all the wrong ingredients?

A major event in life does not have to be a bad one! A positive event can tip the scales just as much as a negative if the equation has been set!! So; enter a sudden major positive or negative life event such as: a sudden change in career, moving home; a breakup of a long-term relationship, an introduction to a relationship; a death, a birth; there are many events that can cause a sudden shock to our already stressed out bodies. What then happens? How do we survive? ah ..But we do. That body is determined to keep you functioning at your peak state, whatever your peak state looks like for you in your current body.

Enter: Fight or Flight state. Fight or Flight state is not designed for long term use. It is designed to fill you with adrenalin to get out out NOW, or fight for your life. It is a response the body makes in a crisis situation. It is momentary. Then it is designed to stop. A major shock/crisis in life can result in a person living in this state for much longer than intended.- Not good.  Most people do not realise they are there, until they come down. With a thud. The fact is- we have to come down at some stage. It is possible to live for years in this state, and the health repercussion are severe. Why?

In fight or flight state you are in overdrive. You are alert, ready for action at any given time. If you are living in this state you are ready for action anytime, anyday. You do not rest. In order for the body to function at this level, it decides that certain other everyday functions can be slowed down or even switched off if we push the body for long enough. Take for instance, the following:

  • The digestive system – shut it down, not needed in this state.
  • The immune system – shut it down, not needed in the state.
  • The blood system – activate thickening of the blood.
  • The BRAIN system – concentration on high alert 24 hours of the day. Shut down short term memory and other unrelated functions in this state.
  • The reproductive system – shut it down, not needed in this state.
  • The excretory system – shut down bowel movement, not needed in this state.

Oh dear.

Our body’s total focus is on fight or flight now. Nothing else is needed in this state. Fine for a very short period of time, but absolutely not fine for any longer. Too many people today are living much of their adult lives in this state until, they crash. And they have to. And it is nasty at that point.

The importance of slowing down and making time to relax, coming to terms with events in our lives, relaxing and accepting, then letting go is momentous. Ask yourself:

  • What is it you are running away from, or what is it you are running to? Why?
  • What have you loaded your plate with and why? Really ask yourself this.
  • And give yourself time to answer these questions.

I fully realised my body had been in fight/flight state only recently. You see, you do not always see it when you are living it.-When you are in it. Especially when you are determined not to let anything hold you down or slow you down.  How can you when you think you are doing all the right things, you are moving in the direction you think you want to go in; when everything is exciting and fun but you have no time to spare; people need to schedule 2 months in advance to see you- family included; you fall in a heap every night and can hardly get out of bed in the mornings- but that is normal isn’t it? It will pass. You tell yourself to “Eat some cement- harden up”. You have a million balls and you are juggling them perfectly– well, so I thought... Then along comes one more and oh my. I drop them all…

That was NOT part of the plan Jan!

Focus focus focus– get back on track. But you can’t. No matter how hard you try; and the harder you try the slower you become. The more painful it gets. Well that is how it was for me. Perhaps you can relate?

I started gaining weight in Oct 12, I could feel it but it was not showing till Dec 12. As I was so lean I looked ‘normal’ in Dec 12- no alarm bells went off for other people. Inside I was panicking but again, thought it would pass… wrong!!  In Feb 13 I was in agony. I was not eating excessively during this time so what was happening?! Finally in that month, when I could not stand the sight of food at all (it is true!), and when I was dry retching at the sight and thought of an apple; I went to hospital. I had an impacted colon!!!! How on earth could this happen…. to me??? Look at what I eat! Look at what I drink!! Look at how I exercise!!! This makes NO SENSE whatsoever. I felt like throwing everything away as this ‘health stuff’ clearly does not work. I was over it! I felt defeated, by my own team.

It was time to get real with myself and time to get honest.

My body had been in fight/flight for the past 2 years. Many functions had shut down. But as I have mentioned time and time again on this blog, our bodies are incredible. They just keep on keeping-on until they just really really can not any more. The more you ignore the gentle signals they send you- the more the body will shut down the basics and run in survival mode. If you, like me, ignore the warning signals in the early stages, you can and likely will find yourself in desperate circumstances. That is painful. On every level. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. When you are in that hospital, which is where most people end up, as I did, you are at the beck and call of random doctors. Doctors who treat you as a number. Doctors who treat you with every pharmaceutical drug available as the first and only answer. Scary stuff. What a roller coaster ride I had dealing with this added onslaught!!! Please do not be like me and ignore those early symptoms. It takes so much longer to get back on track.

This all came about due to an unconscious and conscious (I suppose), emotional response to a trauma two years ago. I had to truly come to terms with that loss. I thought I had. My body clearly proves I had not. I had to truly come to terms with the fact I had built a brick wall around myself so that I would not hurt again. Ludicrous, yes but this is what I saw when I looked at my actions in the past two years. I had to pull that down so that I could be loved, and love again. I had to slow down!!!! (NOOOOOOO) Yes Vashte.

Sometimes in life the best thing we can do is slow down and stop, if we can. Contemplate and conceptualize life as we know it. Then start again refreshed; either on the same track;slow down or with a slight change in direction; or go for gold and flip it completely. You call the shots. What do YOU want in life? I had to ask myself that again, and will continue to ask myself that to ensure I am on track.

Things change the only thing constant in life is change so do not wish for people to stay they same. They won’t. Do not wish for things to stay the same. They wont. Educate yourself and empower yourself to prepare for change- BE the change!! And it is OK to realise you have made mistakes. I have, you have, we all have. Learn from them, forgive yourself, forgive others and carry on.

Everything is OK. Everything is MORE THAN OK now! I know I am always in the right place at the right time, in every circumstance.  I know I stumble occasionally- I am human and in saying that – that is exactly why I have my hand in Jesus’- so that when I do He is there to stop me falling. My strength is found in Him and I know I can do all things through Him as He strengthens me.

Who strengthens you? If it is you, in your own strength.. you will tire. As I did. What happens then? Who strengthens you then?

I am back on track and excited for this next chapter in life! It looks bright. It is filled with love, and excitement, PEACE, and expectation of the things I can do in and hopefully for, this world! Are you excited about the things you can do in this world? Oh get excited! Believe and have faith that you are destined for great things! You are!

So I thought I would share part of the reason for my silence throughout the month of April. Noone is bulletproof -as much as I loved to imagine myself to be 😉 It was a time of honesty with myself; forgiveness; breaking down of barriers; rest and recuperation in my health and love life. I am blessed to have been given this time out. Thank you x. It was time to get truly excited again; fall in love again with life and all that it offers- it offers so much! A time of gratitude and a time to recalibrate my direction.

Life is amazing! Keep doing what you do if you love it- and change it if you don’t! Be grateful for all that you have today– set goals forrelax what you want in your future and set a path to make them happen- always live in the TODAY as that is where we are- IN today. Be open for lessons in life; do not be too proud to accept them. Lessons are not something to be embarrassed about, rather, they are something to cherish and be thankful for. If you do not learn, you do not grow! Thus you stagnate. Keep growing into a new you; a brighter you; a more refreshing you! And take time out to relax and be aware of those emotions, be aware of the subtle hints your body sends you. Let your emotions out sensibly- if you do not, they will affect you negatively, as well as affect the people around you; take action on those physical warning signs to negate a crisis in the not too distant future.

One life live it well!!!

xx Vashte xx