Inspirational

Fathers Day

by Vashte on September 7, 2014

Today, in Australia, it is Fathers Day. I wish all the Fathers out there a wonder day, embracing the gift they have been given in this life.

fathers day

It is my brother’s first Fathers Day. He seems to be a pretty cool Dad. His son even gave him a book called “Why I love my Daddy”. When I asked him what the book said, my brother remembers “He is funny” and “He is clever” – straight off the cuff.. not too much else 😉 His son is about 5 months old… so .. I guess he must be as clever as his Dad is… :) They have a beautiful family- filled with love and it shows.

I respect and honour all parents out there. It is a mammoth task and one I have not experienced. Yet or perhaps ever. Who knows.

I know it takes a strong man. A loving man. A true man to be a Dad.

In church today the paster gave us this quote which I loved: “It is easier for a Father to have children, than it is for children to have a good Father”. Hands up those who know this to be true – on both sides of the fence. My hand raises.

An ideal family celebrates this day with their Dad. The man they lean on, trust, feel safe with. This is the image I imagine in my mind about Fathers Day and the one I pray you are celebrating today!:

fathers day2

For me, Fathers Day has been a day of unexpressed annoyance I guess. I don’t remember my Dad being around, and certainly don’t remember words of encouragement, much love or support from him. Every girl wants the love of her ‘father’. But my ‘father’ was never really much of a ‘father’. I remember fighting though. Too many families are like this today. I pray that more people understand how important it is for a child to have a Mum AND a Dad. If they have issues- keep it away from the children. He was never very good at that. Children are smart and see through everything – it is funny how some adults think they don’t. -Especially when those adults were once children too..

I had a step father once for a while- he tried to be a good man, and a good father. I still respect the role he played in my life as that person. He spent time helping me with certain classes in school, and he tried to be the ‘man’ we needed in our family. As a Dad. But he is no longer in our lives either.

My biological Father is alive. I don’t speak to him very often. I’m not angry with him or upset with him. I still love him because I have a small understanding of who he is, and what it might have been like growing up in his family as a child. And I believe it would have been horrible. HIS father was a bad man. It is harder for  a person who has never been shown love, to give love or express it. It is not impossible, but my Father, chose not to change very much. That is OK with me- it is what it is.

I’m still a girl who wants the love of a Father. I know he loves me even though he doesn’t show it, or know how to show it well, or has bothered much to try..

I am safe though- because I found a real love from The Father of all- Christ Jesus’ Father: God.  So for all the people out there who have not experienced love from their Dad’s. For those who have been mistreated. For those who have been abandoned- and for those who actually do have the coolest Dad’s in the world! -There is One out there who really does love unconditionally- no matter what- through thick and thin- is never angry with you – and always forgives. There is One who will make you feel safe, and keep you safe from all things.. and He is with you all the time.

His name is God. Jesus Christ’s father. Our creator.

God IS love so everything He does is in love. Pretty cool to have a Dad who always, always, always walks in love. It’s very safe. It’s very empowering.

fathers day3

So I leave you with this thought:

Dad– I do love you- even though I don’t speak to you often.

AND:

God is GOOD and something GOOD is going to happen today and everyday with God our Father walking with us.

Happy Fathers Day Everyone!

Forgive your children. Forgive your parents. Forget it all- there is no point harbouring memories that only eat you up, spit you out and end up destroying lives.

xx Vashte xx

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A Question For You?

by Vashte on August 28, 2014

Thankyou for reading my website! I am encouraged by hearing from you and would love your feedback…..

I am Vashte www.vashte.com

HI! This is me. Vashte. And I would like to hear from you – reading this post. 

Would you be so kind to tell me why you are here – on my site? 

How did you find it? What were you looking for?

I started this site after the sudden death of my partner- to cancer. It was a shock to many, myself included. I wrote predominantly on empowerment, strength, determination and the healing health journey – mind, body and spirit. Encouraging others, encourages me and I find it easy to write from the heart.

I have, for all my life, supported, encouraged and powered – from behind the scenes. I did not have the belief in myself to stand on my own, I mean – why would you want to listen to me? Friends might.. family don’t- and strangers- well I just smile and look pretty. It seems all my life others could see what I had to offer, but not I. I wanted to, but there was something big holding me down. I know what it was, and it is very annoying that something I was completely aware of could still hold me down. I let it you see.

When you don’t face your issues they control you. It appears scary to face them – but when that day comes- and I hope you face yours sooner than I chose to face mine- they run for cover. Because the truth will set you free. Perhaps one day I will talk about that issue- I am sure it will help someone somewhere out-there knowing that I have personal issues too. You see, I don’t know that some of you think I do. I often write on ‘belief in self”, ‘encouragement’, ‘self esteem’- please remember I am human too and have the same ‘fears’and set backs as anyone else.

Consider this: Your perception is your reality- your reality is your perception. Think about that :)

When I lost my partner- when he was stolen from this earth, my life changed dramatically. Inside out, upside down, topsy turvy. But not in an out of control kind of way. Not in the way so many experience when they lose a loved one. I was at Rhema Bible College that year, as he was, studying for my (our) diploma in Biblical Studies. Let me tell you- I had NO desire to go as I was high on life building his (our) business!! I was taking it global baby! I LOVED it!! But he wanted to go study- so I went along like a petulant school girl, kicking and screaming. On the first day- I was hooked. What a miracle. Funny that. Little did I now what that year had in store for us. Interesting how God puts us in places to protect us- isn’t it. Places where we will be blessed despite what is comes. From ANY direction.

Inside out, upside down, topsy turvy year and year after that. I found out what I was made of.. again. When life throws mud at you- make mudcakes. So there. Why wallow in it? Get up and do something about it. So … this site started as a place for you to get to know me.. on my own. As a single entity. Out here without the support of anyone else, but you- the people who take the time to read my posts- who are you? Tell me what you enjoy the most, please?  Here, I have taken myself out of the shadowns. Here, for once, I am not selling myself short.. or am I? I’m sure I do it all wrong here – there is no plan- no agenda…

But I ask you – what is it that draws you in to me? Do I still attract you? What do you want to hear from me?

I would really like to know as… it is time I took life to the next level.

It has taken me this long from 2011 to 2014 to settle down again. To recover and to relax. I am now engaged to a beautiful man filled with love, support and encouragement. It would be easy for me to slip back into a ‘behind the scenes role’. But my loss propelled me to a place where I know I have something to say. ..Do you want to hear it? 

I am older than I look. There. I said it. Some people underestimate me because they think I am younger than I am. I have lived lives upon lives upon lives. I have lived lives within lives. I have done things I am not proud of, and have done things that surprised even me! I have encouraged, I have disappointed. I am human. I have studied the mind. I have studied the spirit. I have studied the body. I have studied food. I am a master of none- but a student of all. 

It is time to step further out off the safe ledge and into the unknown. There will always be a safety net. I don’t know what I was afraid of before- was it failure.. or success…. 

I know now that life can be stolen in the blink of an eye. It is not the things that you did that you truly regret in life.. it is the things you didn’t even try. Those are the things you will regret at the end of life.

Wholefood Workshops Sept 2014 www.vashte.com

My wholefood workshops start in Sept– if you want a close up and personal encounter of the third kind with me and more people like me – make sure you email your spot!! I was asked for these- so I have jumped off and put it out there- did you ask? Do you want to come? If you know even a little about me- you will know that my life walks this walk more than I talk the talk- so many people out there talking talking talking. So many shooting stars. Don’t be a shooting star- be the bright star that shines bright- for a very long time. Shooting stars.. they are here one minute- burnt out the next. 

Success is achieved by consistency. Consistency – so don’t be drawn in by the bright light swishing past. Be the stable light, reliable and standing strong in the end.

I run “Empowerment Coaching” via Skype – fully qualified you can ask for the creds if you are interested- and a qualified Personal Trainer…

VashteB Fashion TV Sports Shoot June 12 - Copy

 

But my question still remains to you- what is it you like to read from me most of all?

I am going to have this site redesigned with more structure- is there anything you would like to see more of? less of? ….

(I’m not very good  short posts am I?!) Sigh- technology is not my forte- and that’s a shame.

Thanks for listening I am off to make paleo chewy choc fudge brownies for my family tomorrow – now this a truth if ever there was one.. had you known me in London (I lived there for 10 years…)or growing up… you would have fallen off your seat had you even considered the concept of Vashte running wholefood workshops!!!! I managed fine dining restaurants but there is no way I would create the food!! !!! xxx

Never say NEVER!!! FAMOUS LAST WORDS

I would LOVE to hear from you- post comments in the comments sections below- let me grown this site organically :)

XX Vashte xx

 

 

 

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Seasons

by Vashte on May 28, 2014

Seasons www.vashte.com

As I look at my life, I realise it is made up from a  medley of different seasons. Each day leading further into, or as a continuum, or leading out of that season and prepping for the next season I allow, or choose to walk into.

The life I live is my responsibility directly. Noone else’s. Yes, things happen ‘to’ me and around me that are seemingly out of my control. Or are they? When I reflect back and look with open eyes and heart, and with hardcore pure honesty.. nothing I have lived through has been completely out of my control.

I may not have been able to ‘stop’ things happening, especially as a child; but I could definitely have done a little more, or a lot more about them to make my feelings known. I still cannot ‘stop’ some things happening as an adult- but I do have more ability to understand; take myself out of any given situation; choose to ‘put myself in other people’s shoes’; consider different meanings for events that mean one thing to me; ask questions; speak up; action change.

Seasons in life are here to help mold us into the brilliant human beings we are designed to be. And as logical and predictable as the seasons in one year are; so too are our very own seasons. Completely logical. 

The seeds we plant today will be the harvests for our tomorrows. I cant help but relate the parable of the sower, spoken by Jesus (Luke 8: 4-15), to my life today – and yours potentially?

If my seed (my ideas) are thrown away or not even spoken of, my life remains as it is. Life happens ‘to’ me. I am the ‘victim’, and ‘life’ is in control. If my dreams are never even made into goals, they will never become my reality. Life goes on without me, and I will forever be looking on as a spectator- wishing on a star. I fall to the wayside and the world tramples me down.  Survival of the fittest.

When we have courage to go after even a small dream, then we overcome self doubt, and dis-belief. No matter what has happened in life, no matter what people have said- we have the power to change all those things. Don’t live life as a spectator. Don’t be pushed into the gutter. Don’t be trampled down. All it takes is one small step to start changing that.

barren www.vashte.com

If I plant on stony ground- what do I expect to grow from that? How do I expect to produce a harvest from that?

I look around my world and I question – is my ground stony? How have I been treating myself and others? Am I loving, considerate, passionate, truthful? If I am walking in truth, then the people around me will reflect that. As will my workplace. As will my home space. Or am I living ‘in ‘ the world- ‘expecting‘ the world to ‘give me what I deserve’? Do I have an attitude of resentment, anger and hatred? Am I hardening my heart, and therefore hardening the soil (world) around me to reflect the negativity I believe to be true? Do I have a chip on my shoulder? Are all people annoying and wrong all the time? Is my patience thin with life? Is my attitude: I work hard… Nothing was ever given to me… Nothing good will ever come.. I ‘deserve’better….? Stony ground.

A world on stony ground is a cold, hard place. Lonely. It is a heart thing. We don’t need to open the heart over night.. Jesus said to ‘guard your heart above all else’, but He did not say to make it hard.  We can start by cracking a smile at work.. to the cafe workers.. to your husband or wife. What eventuates from that one small gesture, can instigate a softening of the heart… softening of the soil in which we live.

stony ground www.vashte.com

If I plant seeds with weeds- what can we expect from this? Is a productive season likely to eventuate with weeds all around my precious seeds?

I look around my world and ask myself- am I living with weeds? Am I living in truth, peace and in that space of incredible lightness in being? Am I empowered? Am I empowering to others? Are they listening? Who are the people I connect with? Are they honest, determined and caring? Or is my environment toxic? Are there chemicals all around, and yet the weeds morph into superweeds- condescending, haughty, self righteous? Are there road blocks with every corner I turn? Do I stumble and fall, finding noone to offer a hand up? Do I offer a hand to those who tumble and fall? Are my conversations all about ‘me, me, me’; do I talk behind people’s backs; do I harbour jealousy, resentment, self pity. Do my connections? Are my ideas considered, or are they squashed before the idea is even fully disclosed? Weeds- kill healthy seedlings.

Weed out the thorns in life. Weed the thorns from your own self. Always start with self first, before we look to others. Chances are we harbour the issue ourselves,  which is why we attract such lifestyles to us. Clean from the inside out first and watch the weeds just fall away naturally as we replace those spaces with encouraging, forward thinking, empowered life skills and people. 

When we plant our seeds on fertile soil- of course they grow and flourish. So long as they are nourished.

I ask myself is my life fertile? Do I see blessing in all things? Am I experiencing the beauty that is life? Do I appreciate every day, the opportunities, the people, the lifestyle. Am I making the most of my given days and circumstances. Is there anything I can do to be more of a blessing to myself, and to others? Am I regularly checking my heart space- clearing it from stones, weeds and thorns as they crop up?

Good crop www.vashte.com

  • These are all things I constantly remind myself to consider and ask in life.
  • These are all things I need reminding of too.

The seasons that have seemed the hardest, difficult and painful  have been the seasons where I fought. Those were the seasons I wanted to be somewhere or someone else, where I chose to hold on to things that have passed away. In doing so, I chose not to ‘be’ in the moment learning the lessons I needed to learn, to move on. Stuck in the moment... a catch phrase for a reason. Those moment can last years if we are not careful. Even in the midst of heart ache, pain and anguish there is light and hope. There is a reason to move on. When we see the event for what it is, whatever it is, and learn to let it go by learning and accepting.. then we are free. Then we are free to move to the next stage or season.

Every event that has happened, has shaped me to be the woman I am today. In the thick of those ‘life changing’ events are where I realised more power and strength, as well as true joy.

Why would anyone want to change the past? The past is the past. It just is. Noone is changing it. Not ever. So let it go but make sure you learn what you need to learn from it, with an open heart.. See it for what it is- just the past. It can not hurt you. Not if you don’t let it. I use those things that were designed to hurt me the most, to my advantage. I use them to help other people. My past cant hurt me.

Only I can hurt me, and why would I do that?

BE the light so many people, are looking for and needing today.

Understand your season is only momentary- build on it if you like it; observe it and change what you need to change if you are fighting it. it too shall pass. It is only a season. Stop fighting.

xx Vashte xx

 

 

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DownSize You! De-Clutter Life!

by Vashte on May 9, 2014

Hellooooo! Back from a fabulous quick trip to Thailand and raring to go!

Thailand www.vashte.com

A change in environment is often a catalyst to a change in thinking, and potential change in situation. It can give us the ability to see the wood from the trees. When we are slap, bang! in the thick of things, it takes a unique person to detach from e-motions and from the simple fact we are ‘in’ the melting pot. Few can experience life objectively and rationally from that place.  – We are emotive beings- 

Thailand was bliss! I love the Thai islands I have been to! Her beaches. Her people. Her food. Her weather. I can not fault Thailand. I only see the good there :) I went to celebrate a wedding there on this occasion; reuniting friends from all over the globe in celebration of dear friends committing life to each other. That is something very, very special!

Now I am back, and I too, am experiencing a more clear perspective for my life here in Australia. I have decided to harness this perspective and take action. When we choose not to take action in times like these, we soon fall back into old habits, old behaviours, old thought patterns. Life then returns to exactly as it was before. Same ol’, same ol’.

Change.

Make some changes. They can get a little, or a lot, harder to make as we get older if we choose not to make at least a few changes in life. Don’t be that miserable, old, lonely, cranky-pants who point-blank refused to change. Don’t get stuck in the past! Live today for today, making plans for the future.

  • The words you speak today form your reality tomorrow.
  • The action you take today will reflect in your today, tomorrow.
  • What future are you creating with your today, today??

So one major change I am committing to and sharing with you is the commitment to de-clutter my life. ‘De-cluttering my life’ is a very broad statement and concept so lets break this down into a bite sized chunk easy to chew.  I have previously posted on how to set and achieve goals, click HERE for a refresh. This is a goal. It is going to take effort and work but I am starting out small and so will grow in confidence and enjoyment in this potentially painful experience. -All dependent on how emotionally charged I am to items I choose to de-clutter.

We tend to hoard, gather and consume more and more in this consumer based life. We collect things; be they physical items (stuff); friendships or souls…; memories; behaviour/survival patterns. We refuse to let go of some. Even when they drag us down physically, emotionally, and or spiritually. Even when they make us sick. Or just plain get in the way of our moving forward. So we get stuck. Immobile. When we plateau, and the world keeps moving forward. Effectively we get left behind. And that’s not kosher Jack is it?!

Ruthless. That is how we (I) need to be when de-cluttering life. Ruthless. Unemotional. Get factual and objective. It is the only way to ditch the baggage.

I think the easiest place to start is in de-cluttering my home. Followed closely by de-cluttering my workspace. What in your environment can you afford to de-clutter? Or a better question to ask is: what in your environment can you NOT afford to de-clutter? What is your clutter costing you?!!

Space www.vashte.com

I have read that attachment to people, places and things is the basis of much of our suffering. Think about that and consider the truth in that. Really think about it. I see the truth in that perspective. My suffering and pain has often been in relation to my attachment of things/places or people I did not want to let go of. Are you the same? A healthy balance is important. Being completely detached is equally unhealthy. When we come to terms with seasons in life, de-cluttering becomes a lot easier.  I understand that I have lived many seasons in life so far, and I have many more to come. If I hold on to past seasons, I am in effect, living in the past. I then prevent myself from living in today. Some of my past is found in ‘stuff’ I have kept – on display or in storage (is that baggage?!) Some of my past in found in friendships and equally enemies. Some of my past is located in places and events.

‘Stuff’ is not a major factor in my life, having traveled for most of it and not considering myself grounded or rooted in one place, I probably have fewer ties to hoarding for memory. Apartment living also aids in this department. There is nowhere to hoard!! I do, however,have a tendency to keep books and documents ‘in case I can use them in the future’. Yes, books, magazines, cutouts and the like. I have a plethora of photos as well- they are emotional I suppose, but more a footprint of my life so far. (Is that an excuse?!)

Culling some of these items will be hard, but greatly beneficial, as they weigh heavy- in physical weight as well as the ever questioning ‘ what if I can use them?”- effectively cluttering my mindspace ?!! Here I have to get tough with myself and reason: If I haven’t used them already, then chances are I won’t in the near future. If I do, then I can always find them again. It really is not the end of the world. None of them are the Holy Grail!

By de-cluttering space, we keep what is useful and loved. We learn how to let go in the physical. There is power in letting go. Even when that letting go is represented by the smallest item in the house. Personal possessions. Sometimes personal possessions mean more to us than human interaction. Don’t let your personal possessions define you.

YOU define you. Personal possessions only fool fools, and impress small minds. What are you? Who do you choose to associate with?

If I can make basic decisions on what to keep and what to either give, throw away or sell; then those decisions spill into all aspects of my life. These decisions can be the seed planted allowing me to let go of more of my past so that I an un-clutter my entire home- mind, spirit and body.

  • New business ideas can flow, once old business concepts are closed.
  • New friendships are formed, once old friendships that have grown stale or changed paths are finished.
  • New attitudes can be developed, once old attitudes that not longer serve to benefit are changed.
  • New belief systems can be set up, once old belief systems that are not working are stopped.

Out with the old- in with the new!

Making space www.vashte.com

A trip overseas, or just away for a night or two can be that catalyst for clear thinking to re-emerge. Act on it when you see the wood from the trees. This can take courage. You can do it. Start with baby steps. These grow into infant steps, to teen steps and then to adult steps. Before you know it, you are running down the path of your dreams. And it could all have been sparked by you committing to a simple act, such as de-cluttering your space. 

-That book you have been meaning to read for years- read it or de-clutter it. Out it goes.

-That outfit you have never worn, the one with the tags still attached- that one you bought 2 years ago – give it away, or sell it. 

-That ornament reminding you of times past- the good ol’days – throw it away. How can you have good times today when you constantly pine for the ol’ days?

Our past has helped shape us to who we are today. We are very special and unique people. Each one of us. Our past does not define us though. Do not let the past hold you down to the person you were yesterday, or years ago. Do not let people hold you back in their desire to keep yesterday alive. That image may no longer suit or fit the person you are today, or plan to become. Break free of the chains. Ask yourself this: who is the person who stands in front of the mirror today? Who are you creating yourself to be for tomorrow and tomorrow’s tomorrow? Bring your dreams to life.

Enjoy your today and let go of the past. Learn from it, yes. Be thankful that it happened, no matter what it entails; and let it all go. Get on with Living Life OutLoud for today, so that you can make your dreams, your reality. 

Declutter – Start at home!

Here is how to start:

  1. Go to the seconds shop.
  2. Buy a plastic container- usually about $20.00 Aus.
  3. Label it “Declutter Box”
  4. Add one item every day for one month (add more if you like but make sure at least one item goes in every day to make a habit).
  5. At the end of one month donate it to the Salvation Army; throw it out or sell it on ebay/garage sale..whatever you do, get it out of the house!!

This is a step by step process to lighten the burden in life. Too often we are held down by insignificant ‘stuff and things’. This simple, easy, but achievable game-plan begins something much deeper in the Spirit and Soul. It brings empowerment.  You begin to learn how, or remember how to, let go of things that just are not relevant to life now or the future. 

Your lifespace can be a reflection of your mind space. As you de-clutter your home space, work space, living space; imagine how de-cluttered your mind space could potentially become. 

I am excited!! Are you??

If you too think this is a good idea- commit with me and join me on this 30 day de-clutter challenge! Please leave a comment. We can become accountable to each other. Let me know what and where you are choosing to start! My first item is actually two items: 2 photo albums of a wedding back in 2003. I haven’t spoken to the couple since, have tried to contact them to ask if they want the albums but there is no response. It is cluttering  my space so they are going in my de-clutter box as the inaugural first items!!  Big step for me- de-cluttering photos- as I tend to be emotionally tied to these. I figure it has got to get easier if I start with the hard things!

Why not make 2014 the most progressive year to date? 

Join me on this 30 day challenge! Who knows..maybe it will continue past 30 days! Imagine the space  we can create by removing old, unused items. Ready for new, fresh items to take their space.

Add your comment below if you are joining in with me! Do it!!

xx Vashte xx

 

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Risk

by Vashte on April 8, 2014

I was rummaging through one of my collectors boxes :) and I came across this poem. It not written by me, but by a 15 year old girl with maturity beyond her age. I do not know the author, nor do I know where it came from but I thought it timely to post. It was a message to me and I’m banking a message for a couple of my readers out there as well.

Read; take on board the message; and remember- this is written by a 15 year old. Let’s all Live Our Lives OutLoud- every day of the week, no matter what the circumstance….:

RISK

 

www.vashte.com

To reach out to another

Is to risk showing your true self.

To place your ideas, your dreams,

  your feelings

before people, is to risk appearing

  the fool.

To love is to risk being heartbroken

To hope is to risk despair

To succeed is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken

because the greatest failure in life

is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing

Does nothing,

Is nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow

But they cannot learn.

Learn to live, feel, change, love, grow.

Changed by certainty,

They are slaves,

They have no freedom

For only a person who risks is

  free.

Christine Adamson, Age 15

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Two Eyes. One Mouth.

by Vashte on April 1, 2014

In my humble opinion it could be wise to use our eyes more than is popular, and save our vocal chords…. well, wise for me. I cant speak for you…so I decided this year to make a commitment to read more. As you can see from my library below.. I have a few to choose from :) I feel quite proud in the fact that I have culled so many. I started with twice this amount… So book by book, page by page, I will read! (And I keep buying new books too…bizarre).

My library www.vashte.com

This does not mean it will take up all of my ‘off’ time, but it means I commit 20 -30 minutes most days to reading, something from a book, with a purpose. 

In an ideal world I would commit to: 20 minutes reading my Bible; 20 minutes reading on nutrition; 2o minutes reading on personal development and 20 minutes reading on fitness. But just writing that sounds scary to me, even though all subjects are passionate aspects of my life! So, in order to get started, I commit to 20 minutes per day. Give or take 😉 Last week was unaccounted for- I don’t know what happened to last week.. do you??– no reading whatsoever from my designated books. It works best if you make the commitment and stick to it. This way a habit is formed and therefore becomes part of everyday living, without an issue. Trying to catch up by binge reading every few days is not the solution. Its all about making a habit. Habits grow from consistency, and through desire.

Lets face it. We could all turn the TV off 20 minutes earlier each night, couldn’t we? Did you know the TV, and any electronic device, gives off artificial light and electronic waves stimulating the brain therefore making it harder to fall into a peaceful and deep sleep? So if you are one of the many who use the internet, check emails/facebook/instagram/twitter….(the list goes on) until you are falling asleep with your phone in your hand… and wonder why you don’t sleep so well.. perhaps herein lies your answer!

Why not try this on for size? Get a book. Any book – it has to be something you are actually interested in. Promise yourself to read it in a given time frame. Be lenient with the goal posts- this is a new adventure remember. Be OK if you fall asleep reading.. perhaps decide not to actually lie in bed reading, but sit up on the couch and read for the 20 minutes prior to sleeping. Or any other time of the day that best suits you. 

You, like me, could be pleasantly surprised as to how many books you chomp through!

Reading can also enhance one’s use of the English language.. and (ahem) I think we could all do with a little improvement there…. 😉 

My chomping so far:

Trace Elements www.vashte.com

Great book and defiantly one I recommend if you are interested in getting to the crux of any issues you might be facing. In a nutshell: This book explores trace elements and minerals and how they affect our bodies- too much and too little. Often the hidden reason behind many issues that just won’t budge. Hair Mineral Analysis is what the book is pointing towards, and something I think worth exploring in our journey towards healthy living. Explains things like- calcium and how calcium deficiency does NOT usually benefit from taking calcium supplements… it is a great read. Click HERE for more information on trace elements; David Watts and where to buy the book.

Wheat Belly www.vashte.com

Wheat Belly by William Davis MD. (MD sounds so intelligent dont you think?!)

Get your fingers on the trigger and BUY THIS BOOK!! BRILLIANT!! This man is a doctor, and most doctors don’t really have much of a sense of humour. This guy, he’s funny. And he’s on the ball. This guy knows what he is talking about. It was as if he wrote the book just for me!!! And any other gluten intolerant/celiac person out there in this world.. which is pretty much everyone as he very subtly exposes the filth of the mutated wheat grain in the very recent 40 years or so. So when your grandparents and some parents give you the line ‘ I don’t know what’s wrong with you kids today- you are allergic to this, and allergic to that…we used to eat everything in our day…’ well- they are telling the truth. Perhaps they might like to read this book too and see just how swiftly our food has changed, and by design-Not for our health. I will read and re-read this book. It’s tops. Please do yourselves a favour and read it too. No more diets!! Just change certain foods and watch the bloated, inflamed bodys deflate, without the drama of a ‘diet’ . Surely THAT sounds appealing?! Buy it HERE

Life Skills www.vashte.com

Two books:

5 love Languages by Gary Chapman– again- another book every human being in the entire world ought to read in my humble opinion. Not only could it save your marriage/relationship but it can shed light on what floats your boat- and surprise you! It applies to ALL people, across ALL nations and age groups. If you think you are misunderstood- read this book. If you don’t understand why some people do the things they do – read this book. If you want to understand your kids better- read this book. If you want to know how to be more effective in business- read this book. If you deal with human beings- ever- read this book. This is a fun book! In a nutshell: READ THIS BOOK!! Click HERE to buy.

Read it with the intention of learning more on who you are personally, what you like and don’t like; and how to understand pretty much every other person in your whole entire world– if you want. It really is that simple. When you understand yourself, and you make a small effort in understanding people– you will find life shines back at you with a whole lot of goodness. It’s not rocket science. Its people. We are not that complicated.

Boundaries before Marriage – a book I am currently reading as recommended by people I respect. So far, it is a book I think every single person would benefit from reading. It encourages you to explore what you accept and expect in life, get to know who you are, and dive into what you want. All great topics to know before you enter into ANY kind of relationship. Two halves don’t make a whole. Two halves make a co-dependent relationship that explodes in misery. Too many relationships are like this today. Spend some time on you and enjoy finding out what makes you tick. Keep your standards high, and dont make compromises which go against who you are Spiritually.

My next book which I am super excited to get into is:

Books with Vashte.com

So again- in line with my whole food, celiac/gluten free (which is sugar free) way of eating. It all makes sense once you start to unravel the lies. They are not hard to start to unravel- we just need to switch our rains into first gear instead of walking around like zombies – half dead. That is pretty much what we are, and what we are doing to ourselves. Don’t think it is too hard. These books are mega easy to read. Start with one!! If my books don’t get you excited, then find some that do! Personally I love reading about how to swim away from mainstream lies. I’ve swum with mainstream before; it’s so refreshing to swim against the masses. Here you find people who actually care about life. Here you find people with passion and zest. Here you find spunk and personality. Here you find individuals who just want to Live Life OutLoud without the feeling of apathy, grumbling and negativity. We don’t all speak the same language. We don’t all have the SAME passion- but what we DO share is a determination to BE the change we want to see in the world, instead of wishing on a star. And THAT desire, brings all walks of life together. Empowering each other, speaking truths that we actually believe in, walk and live live authentically.  No zombies exist here. Its all fun and interesting and refreshing.

My Bibleis part of me. I read it as often as I can- because I love it. Because it is part of me I sometimes forget to read it. I can tell when I’m not reading my Bible. My energy drops. You see, I love talking to God and having Him guide and instruct me. What is a Bible but God’s Word written just for me every single day as and when I need it; and sometimes when I think I don’t want it- I’m human- it stands to reason – I have attitude just like you 😉 He’s the coolest, most inspiring, most tremendous ‘person’ I turn to for advice and guidance. He is LOVE. He is God. He answers all my prayers. He gives me the desires of my heart. Those are only SOME of the magnificent promises He gives His children. We are ALL His children. All we have to do is pray and invite The One who was, and is and who is to come, to live in our hearts. And there He will live, to gently guide you, just as He guides me. That quiet, beautiful, loving voice that speaks to me through the madness of the world out there. Peace. Love. Joy.

Happy reading!

If you are looking for a coach or mentor in life;  perhaps I can help. Subscribe for free to my site- just pop your email address in the top right box and I send out a weekly update of new posts and upcoming events with Vashte.com. SHARE the LURVE xxxxx

xx Vashte xx

Vashte has a BA majoring in Psychology; is a Master Neuro-Linguistic Programmer, Master Results and Performance Coach, and holds qualifications in advanced neurological re-patterning. She has a Diploma in Christian Biblical Studies and is a Qualified Personal Trainer registered with Fitness Australia.  She has been researching nutrition for 20 years; composing wholefood food plans for 6 years, focusing on weight and fatloss via wholefood.

Vashte is a health and wellness ambassador, specialising in spirit, mind and body. 

Vashte is currently based on the Gold Coast and consults from there. Skype sessions are available for those outside this area. Please contact her via email: info@vashte.com for further information.

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Emotional Stress

by Vashte on March 12, 2014

Lets talk emotional.

Stomach ache

Emotional stress and what it can do to a body.

Emotional Stress can be a major contributor to a vast majority of illness, directly and non directly. Illness from the common cold (how frequently do you get a simple little cold, the sniffles, or some other ‘minor’ illness that keeps you únder the weather’ – just slightly) – to more ‘serious’ illness in terms of acute or terminal illness. Yes, stress affects them all.

Every part of the human body can be impacted negatively (or positively) by ‘stress’..

Stress experienced in a negative way, and for too long contributes to:

  • depression
  • reduces the immune system
  • delays healing- emotionally and physically
  • may cause heart attack/stroke
  • impairs memory
  • can increase risk of cancer
  • increases inflammation
  • unwanted weightloss/gain
  • worsen diabetes
  • impairs sexual function
  • increases ageing
  • and more…so much more

Stress makes the body age faster at a cellular and genetic level by shortening ‘telomeres’. Telomeres are DNA at the end of chromosomes that directly affect how quickly cells age. The shorter the telomere, the shorter the life span. Research it. BUT all is not lost if you are a stress head, or are in the middle of an incredibly stressful situation!!!

Stress -Management techniques have been shown to lengthen telomeres (yay!!) So there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!

A life without Stress does not exist. You don’t see every person ageing rapidly, developing chronic illness and living a shortened life by living a life filled with stress. Some do, some don’t. Interesting. This poses the question- why is that? Why can some people handle stress in their stride; whilst others collapse the moment one thing falls out of place? Could it be that the people able to handle stress have implemented stress- management techniques giving them tools to manage stress on higher and higher levels? hmmm maybe…

I think it wise to look briefly at what stress is before we delve into that.

What is stress?

By definition ‘stress’ according to the Oxford dictionary for this purpose is:

noun 
  1. 2.
    a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.
    “he’s obviously under a lot of stress

‘Stress’ is often viewed as “what is going on in a person’s life”. Change; good or otherwise; is stress. A change in perception, understanding, belief, circumstance, lifestyle, weight, marriage/divorce, life/death…. the list goes on and on and on…Stress can be ANY factor contributing to change.  Good change can be just as ‘stressful’ as adverse change for some people. 

The degree to which a person experiences stress is directly related to how that person reacts to that stress. It is how you, or I, as an individual person perceives the stress, which in turn dictates how much if any, stress is involved. Stress is completely subjective, non quantifiable, and entirely personal. I cannot judge judge your stress levels, and you cannot judge my stress levels. Does this make sense?

In a world where we are seeing more chronic illness, more depression, more suicide, more loneliness, more nervous breakdowns, more meltdowns, more encouragement towards being an ‘individual’ so therefore supposedly ‘stronger without the need for anyone else’s help……??!!, and more drugs than ever expected in pharmaceutical drug companies wildest dreams prescribed- with that number exponentially risingwhy are we not ALL taking a moment  to ask ourselves:

pills pills and more pills

  • WHAT exactly is going on here?
  • WHO has created and continues to create this Monster?
  • HOW do we stop it? Or at least- how do I stop it in my own world. If you stop it in your world- you will be the light for others to see and give them the strength to believe that they can do it to. I mean if i can do it, you can too right? So if you can do it- so can someone else. And so it flows.
  • Why is a “meltdown” or “nervous breakdown” so accepted today? Why is it virtually expected at some time in life for many people today???

The people of today must be experiencing obscene amounts of this ‘stress’ to lead them down the road to breakdowns. What is going on????

Perceived Stress.

stress

If you feel stress; you are stressed. It really is that simple. Your body will respond to how you are feeling; so if you ‘feel’ stress- the body will result in stress. The mind affects the body just as the body affects the mind. We cannot dissociate one from the other.

It does not matter what the stress in any given person’s life actually is. What matters  is how that person deals with or manages that stress. For example: making billion dollar investments on high risk stocks can be experienced or perceived in exactly the same magnitude as changing jobs, losing/gaining weight; having a haircut to someone else!!!!  Stress is as individual as we are, and is often compounded by a sequence of events. The straw that breaks the camel’s back is not what actual breaks the camel’s back, but it is the one thing that often gets blamed for doing so when in fact, the sequence of event that lead up to that straw is responsible. That sequence may have started years prior! 

HOW do we stop Stress? Or at least manage it? 

We don’t stop ‘stress’ in life. Without ‘stress’ we would like devolve as opposed to evolve. There would be no challenge in life. No goals to hit. No obstacles to overcome. ‘Stress’ is a necessary and healthy co-factor in our existence. I have learnt the most, the fastest, and more robust lessons through times of ‘stress’ and even tragedy. HOW I choose to face stress directly affects HOW stress affects me. Am I a victim? Or am I an achiever? Do I overcome obstacles with one mighty bound (Superman!); do I take a few mighty bounds?; or loads of mighty bounds which might not appear to the outside world as mighty, but in my world, and where I’m at for that moment- they are mighty!!! This is the mindset of a Mighty Warrior. A Princess warrior. A Compassionate Samurai. Whatever you want to call yourself to give you empowerment- do so! Never the victim. Never.

Some keys I use to manage stress are as follows. They are my Stress Management Tools. If you have not got some tools in place that are used on a daily practice, perhaps you too might like to implement some, if not all, of these too. They just might save your life, as they have mine :)

Vashte’s 9 Stress Management Tools:

1. Learn HOW to turn stress OFF when it is not beneficial. 

In certain circumstances such as when I’m working, exercising, creating… stress is good! I ask myself which areas of life I thrive on stress and allow it in for a short time. This is controlled. I like it. What is life without a challenge or two? There are certain seasons when even a little stress can be too much, so learn to pull back in those times. We all have different seasons and thresholds dependent on what is happening in life, and how we deal with them. Many factors are completely out of our control- what we DO control is HOW we ‘react’ to them or manage them.

Stress in this manner can be healthy when I turn it on and turn it off. I turn it on to produce the goods, being mindful of how I am with others around me at work; then leave it at the door when I go home, or change roles. When I go home at night, I relax. My choice. My rules. Turn it on and turn it off. Just like a light switch. 

2. Pray.

Fear Not

As a Christian I turn the The Lord as often as I remember. I do forget sometimes and thats when I end up tripping over my own feet. :) I’m human; I forget. I talk to Him, I read my Bible, I use work books to help me interpret the Bible and develop my relationship with Jesus, The Holy Spirit and God. I read 21st C books written by Christian’s on how to live in this world- being relevant. I apply these principles. I ditch worldly affirmations and worldly self help books- they just don’t work like The Truth. Nothing does! If you want to know where my ‘wisdom’  comes from- as some have asked- it’s not my wisdom – it comes from God. I dont pray crying out ‘why has this happened to me??!!’ I pray using stregnth and promises from the Bible. I pray from a place of empowerment. Always. With belief that God will show the the way, the truth and light. And He does. Every time. HERE is how I pray to get results x.

3. Meditate

The Bible encourages us to meditate on God’s Word daily. So I meditate. On Him and the truth he has written about me and for me. 

I find meditating first thing in the morning and (if I’m being particularity awesome….) last thing at night. Definitely first thing in the morning. This sets my day up in gratitude, love, clarity and focus. I usually incorporate a brisk walk to help physically charge and awaken my body at the same time.  I walk without music. Just me, God and the other early risers getting ahead start on all the late starters in life! If I quiet my mind, am present in the moment, I hear the answers I seek. Effective mindfulness. Effective communication with the One True God. Effectively developing my relationship with Him. Having fun with Him.

Meditation is about focusing mental energy.

Focusing energy increases power.

Increased power is empowerment.

Empowerment allows for more concentration.

Concentration results in better function and effectiveness: in school; in business; in sports; in LIFE.

4. Exercise

walking

Ooh a life without exercise would be equivalent to a life without music! = NO Life at all!!!!

Walking is GREAT!!! Most people can walk. So do more of it. Faster. 😉 Walking with purpose and appreciating that we CAN walk will change the state of the mind. Try it. Gentle exercise is better  for the vast majority of people in today’s society regardless of fitness level. Walking is one of the BEST fat burning exercises you can dream of doing. Dancing is another. Walking is easier see?! 

I run as nothing makes me feel more alive than when I finish a run. But this is a very jarring exercise and certainly has it’s faults. I walk in the mornings :) Join me! Walk. Walk with power. First thing in the morning. Change your life. Change your stress levels. Empower yourself.

5. Stretch!

Pilates is a brilliant practice for stretching, lengthening the body and strengthening the core. It will give you an amazing posture and free any creaky or stuck bits (frozen shoulder anyone?) Instructors are usually highly trained and focus on core strength. True change comes from the inside out- from the core. Start stretching.

By working with the body, and focusing on positive change, we can manage stress far more effectively.

6. FOOD

Blood Red Sunset www.vashte.com

I finally bring this up. One of my favourite topics!! The food I eat plays a direct role in how I process information and how I handle situations. If you are any different, then… you my friend, are an alien from a planet far, far away.

  • Foods that make us sleepy and tired such as: heavy, creamy foods, pastas, breads, dairy; can slow the body and mind as energy is used in some attempt to digest this crap. Loads of energy is taken as these so called foods produce an inflamed response in many people sending the body into overdrive, causing stress internally.
  • Refined sugar, artificial sweeteners and foods with chemicals (most supermarket foods) go straight to the brain and cause neuro-toxic responses. In ‘Vashte’ words: cause brain farts, toxic ones, resulting in behavioural changes in the vast majority of people. Myself included. I used to drink a product called Defin-8. Sold as a ‘mostly natural pre-workout’ – used by  people who use the gym, or in my case for energy. Much like an energy drink. Well, there is nothing natural about this product. Beware of the label ” natural sweetener”. WHAT EXACTLY is this? It is not labeled. For your information: MSG is a NATURAL PRODUCT. I drink Defin-8 and my brain shuts down. Like flicking a switch. Boom. I’m in lala land. I get agitated and itchy. BAD. Really bad. Here is what is happening: brain cells are dying. Just by me drinking a product sold as ‘mostly natural’. Lord knows I have damaged enough brain cells without adding to the equation!
  • Stimulants like coffee and energy drinks can and often do result in dependency. They sure will stimulate the brain and therefore nervous system producing some degree of false energy, and just as surely, they will result in a crash around 1-3 hours later producing a sure fire crash. Hence reaching for another hit.

Choose real food. Real food is whole food. Whole food is made by God without man’s intervention. We stuff it up every. single. time. Wholefoods are: vegetables, good fats, proteins and a little fruit. If you don’t know where to start with healthy, whole foods I have a wide range of FREE easy recipes to get you going!  Click HERE NOW!I’m not one to hang out in the kitchen unless its a party and that’s where it’s at, but only ever then! My recipes are simple, easy and clean eating. AND DELICIOUS!!! Give them a go!!

By changing the food and drink I consume, I directly changed how I experienced and will continue to experience stress.

7. Breathe!!!!

So simple, yet so many forget about it!

Physiologically, when we are stressed it is completely natural to breath shallow, fast breaths. Why? The body is preparing itself for danger. It senses attack. It is preparing me for a fight or a flight. Blood rushes to muscles in my arms and legs leaving digestion – don’t eat when stressed! Eyes dilate. Blood rushes to my heart and increases beats per minute. I’m ready to fight or run. This is an inbuilt defense mechanism that has kept us humans alive since the dawn of time. Its awesomely clever.  God is pretty on to it! When I am stressed I can get tunnel vision- my vision becomes like a laser beam to the exclusion of everything else. Good if I’m looking for an escape, bad if there is oncoming traffic….or I’m not needing to run like a black panther to escape one. Which has never happened by the way. I’m still here. When I say I like to run.. it is not fast by any stretch of the imagination :)

If I were to experience that every time I experienced stress, I would be a train wreck. Some people live in this state day in, day out. This is chronic stress and is guaranteed to make a human body very sick. If not now, eventually. I lived in this state for two years. A human can live like this for a large part of their lives. What often results is sudden cardiac arrest. Often the first sign of cardiac arrest is death. Which is why cardiovascular disease is the number one cause of death in the Western World. It is too late at the first sign of cardiac arrest.

  • Breathe.
  • Notice your breath.

The breath is usually the easiest sign indicating stress. Sometimes I notice I am shallow breathing when my conscious mind has not quite connected to any perceived stress. All I need to do to regain control is stop doing whatever it is that I am doing and focus on my breath. By taking long, slow, deep breathes, I regulate my heart rate and slow my breathing and heart rate down.

Stress can be controlled by breathing correctly! So simple. Why are we not all aware of this and taught to practice this? In school would be the best place to start. It may help with bullying, exams, sports events.. life after school.

Breath is the link between the mind and the body. It both reflects and affects the body’s level of stress. The mind affects the body; the body affects the mind.  The whole is in the part and the part is n the whole. 

8. Focus.

Vashte Bawden

Determine my focus. I ask myself: what is it I am focusing on? Is it beneficial or toxic? Ditch the toxic. This revolves around forgiveness, letting go and forgetting. There is no forgiveness without forgetting. Chronic hatred and anger are among the worst forms of stress. If I remain angry with a person or situation, I empower that person or situation to lord over my life, take control of my thoughts and create a toxic, sick world for me to live in. No thanks.

Forgiving a person does not excuse the behaviour, but it does free my mind from stress, suffering and physical illness. Let it go. There are many situations in my life where I could ‘justifiably’ be angry and harbour resentment and hatred. pfff. No way. I give it all to God and He can deal with the mess. I have a life to live.

Determine your focus with a pure heart = freedom.

It takes strength and courage to forgive. Just try it. A courage you will never experience if you choose not to forgive, let go and foeget. Live an empowered life, not a life lorded over by those who have hurt you.

9. Reach Out.

Connect with the people! Find support groups, or people similar to you who are also moving forward and getting on with life. DON’T connect with people who marinate in the past and tell their story over and over and over..and over. Toxic!! Run Forrest RUN!!!

We all have sad times in life. Don’t choose to stay there! Move on. Join sports groups, reading groups, computer groups..do stuff that you find FUN!!! FUN!!! The key to life!!! Dont LOOK for happiness!!! Do the stuff that interests you and you ARE the happiness and fun in the world!!!! Just get out and start connecting with good people! Get on with LIVING!! 

Vashte Minta jump 12

This is NO  dummy run, although it sure looks as though there are some dummies sleep walking around this world! DON’T be ONE!!!

Quit hiding out on your own. That is dangerous. Being alone is when the lies your head tells you appear real. Get out and about. Dust the cobwebs off and start Living Life OutLoud!! Watch the stress melt away, seemingly without you even trying too hard.. because you are having fun! Before long you will wonder what that old life was all about and how it was even possible in your world. 

Life is for Living. Manage the stress using techniques proven over the ages. Life involves stress. We can’t stop it but we sure can manage HOW we deal with it.

Live Your Life OutLoud.

xx Vashte xx

Vashte has a BA majoring in Psychology; is a Master Neuro-Linguistic Programmer, Master Results and Performance Coach, and holds qualifications in advanced neurological re-patterning. She has a Diploma in Christian Biblical Studies and is a Qualified Personal Trainer registered with Fitness Australia.  She has been researching nutrition for 20 years; composing wholefood food plans for 6 years, focusing on weight and fatloss via wholefood.

Vashte is a health and wellness ambassador, specialising in spirit, mind and body. 

Vashte is currently based on the Gold Coast and consults from there. Skype sessions are available for those outside this area. Please contact her via email: info@vashte.com for further information.

 

 

 

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BULIMIA. A life free from it.

by Vashte on February 28, 2014

As a self confessed ‘foodie’ I love to share my learnings, creations and ideas on this page hoping that I inspire a few others to come to the realisation that food is our friend, and not the enemy.

Fillet of Salmon in lemon and pesto with Fresh Salads

My ENTIRE life I have believed the opposite; that food was my enemy. I thought this was my lot in life and I just had to live with it; that I had a ‘love-hate’ relationship with food and this was the way life was going to stay.

I have been on so many diets, so many pills and every fix known to man (woman) to get my weight/size down. I know what it is like to battle the mind every moment of every day of your entire life wondering where the voices came from, and where the decision for this love/hate thing evolved from.

More importantly:  how to get rid of it.

I started dieting young. I have always had eyes on me as a young girl with a pretty face; intellectual (had to work at that); and very competitive and successful in sports. Yet, I grew fast in my teen years. Yay- for some but not for a self-conscious sports girl.

Food became my escape. I thought I ate well; healthy, and followed the rules. The rules that stipulated grains are ‘healthy’ and ‘good’ for you. So healthy whole grains  will help keep me lean and filled with energy? Wrong. Boy; is that the biggest, FATTEST LIE the food industry has had the audacity to vomit all over us, and is still allowed to do so? It makes me angry to say the least.

How can we move forward as a healthy nation(s) when we are SOLD constant lies like this. People like you and I think we are doing the right thing, when, in fact, the truth is the complete opposite. Celebrities endorse rubbish products; sports people we, and especially young people admire and aspire to be like.  Where is the integrity?  When they wouldn’t eat these foods even if it was the last ‘food’ item on the earth. Hypocrisy I cry!!

Enter, stage left, to my life bulimia. But first I lost a truck load of weight through Weight Watchers. I have never been  significantly overweight at any stage in my life, but have lived at the heavier zone of the ‘healthy weight range’ at times. It all started with training for sports and eating too much wheat/fibre. Little did I know then. (If only I had known then what I know now, it could have saved years of agony.)

You don’t have to be significantly different to passionately hate yourself you know.

I know as I have lived many years masking that truth.

So success reigned in for me at age 15 when I lost so much weight I touched on anorexia..but didn’t quite make it. So, as I ‘failed’ at that as well (note the language used- I thought I was a failure in life). Here is where the love/hate thing with food entered my life and pretty much stayed with me until only very recently. Bulimia. A Love/Hate relationship with food representing a love-hate relationship with self. More hate than love but as passive aggressive people we rarely take it further. Enough that it rules our lives and minds.

I visited the hospital as an outpatient for a short time working through this event around this age.  Perhaps this is when I decided to study the mind and how it worked to complete a degree in psychology, as I found it far too easy to tell the therapists what they wanted to hear, or lie to them and have them believe me.  Interesting that.

Bulimia is not just vomiting food back up. A person with bulimia will use whatever means there is to ‘purge’ food eaten. This can involve vomiting, laxatives, excessive exercise.. any way that person thinks they can get rid of the ‘bad’ or unwanted food eaten. As they get older, they often get wiser and more able to justify certain behaviours to sell them as acceptable and normal.- To themselves as well as those around them.

They can starve themselves for long periods of time going on strict diets, and then BOOM one day eat one thing off the schedule, and it is all over red rover. The bingeing starts.

Noone would ever guess that I have experienced this. It is not something many people speak on and we are usually pretty good at keeping it quiet. Professionals don’t get caught.

I am sharing this with anyone reading my blog as I think it is important you know that I am not perfect. I do my best. I learn. I grow. I need help sometimes. I help others. We all have our strengths and we all have those points that are not so strong. Admitting those not so strong points can help us beat them. When they are kept a secret they can and will eat you alive, eventually killing you. Literally.

One Life, Live it Well

So what needs to change for a person living a life like this? A lot, yes. But one step at a time is the answer, as it is with all things in life.

Steps. There are always steps to progress -big and small. When we understand this we can move forward whilst in control, or gaining control. The key word here is únderstand’.

I understood that the behaviour of bulimia was not sensible or positive but I continued this for most of my adult life regardless; seeking answers through routine, systems and rules. Permitting it to continue by not dealing with it.  This doesn’t work because routines, systems and rules are always broken or changed at some stage so we need flexibility. A person who inherently believes they are at the mercy of anything else, be that a person, thing or situation, is a victim. They are a person living in blame; passing responsibility off to other people, other situations or other things.

Living and allowing bulimia to have any part of my life gave all the power to…food! An inanimate object??! Food- which is meant to be a source of nourishment and enjoyment; to me was a severe source of pain and hatred.

Stepping out of the blame side of life and into the responsibility side of life has been easier than I could ever have imagined.

vashte.com

There are steps I took in the ‘natural’. Meaning steps made by man; developed by psychologists, great ideas from people who speak on how they themselves freed themselves from the dark depths of despair.. (please note that many people who claim such things are not always walking in truth– scratch at the surface and you will see for yourself so beware the blind leading the blind…)

Many of these steps make good logical sense. I have spent years studying the mind and how it works, and have the qualifications to boot. But somehow there was always an empty void there, despite the great ideas and science behind many theories.

So what was missing?

Spiritual Truth.

Enter Christ. When the concept of Christianity was reintroduced to my world in 2008, I was just like most sceptics out there. I was sure there was God- some universal spirit being overseeing us all. I am inherently sure I have not evolved from any animal. But my question was: what and who is this universal God?

I have spent many days, perhaps years screaming into the night with a silent cry asking “why am I here????”. But I was screaming into darkness and not to anything or anyone specifically. So when the concept of Christianity was brought once more into my life, I was vehement I was not one of those “archaic, dusty Christians”. What I was thinking and visualising was the concept of ‘religion’. Man Made religion. Religion overflowing with rules and regulations (I  make enough of my own without the need for some crusty old human dictating how I’m supposed to be in this life); that Man Made Religion packed with hypocritical paedophiles; that Man Made Religion not designed for 21st living. No. I was definitely NOT one of those and never will be.

I’m still not!

When Christianity was explained and then shown to me for what it really is; that is: true love, true peace, true forgiveness; then that is when I was happy to

  • A. Give my heart to Jesus and ask Him to live in it.
  • B. Be called a Christian- A follower of Christ.

Christianity: where no man or woman tells me how to love God, myself or others because God has written it all down in His own Bible.  I can read it for myself, from my own heart and He can do his loving work in me and change me from the inside out without any other man or woman giving their spin or opinion on it. Thankyou very much!

So He did, He has and He continues to.

Chains have been broken from my life just ‘like that’’. Some took a little working, some took a lot and some still have to be. But when change comes from within, and a little seed is planted – in love- showing us how to change, and giving us the strength to change, and giving us the belief that we CAN change… because no matter what we do, say or are, that God LOVES us no matter what… and we are safe..and we are protected…and when we don’t have the strength we can give it all to Him because we are strong in the Lord and the power of His might….

Then we can make the change.

Until then, we will always be in our heads. This is fact. I lived there most of my life and often go back to living in my head until I am reminded to reconnect to my heart. That is where God lives if you ask Him to. That is where He can make more change in your life than you EVER thought possible.

Bulimia. Just ONE chain I carried around most of my adult life. Gone. That one took a bit of work. It started with beginning to understand HOW MUCH God loves me. How much He has ALWAYS been there for me and protected me- even through the REALLY, REALLY bad times. He protected me. So in seeing these truths, I could finally break the concrete barrier I had laid over, and over, and over, and over that issue to ‘protect’ my heart from more hurt. In this space I could feel and connect safely with the behaviour and understand what drove it. In this space I could let it go. Forever.

You know when something leaves your life forever. Spiritually you will feel it. Because YOU control what you allow in and out of your life.

Bulimia. That issue I held onto as a security blanket for so long. Why? Well without it..what was I? I had infused it into such an everyday event in life even until recently; that without it- if I let it go- there would be an empty space. Be careful with empty spaces. Make sure you fill them with Truth. I filled mine with God’s love, His peace and His total acceptance.

Today I no longer have to exercise for hours on end to burn off the food I ate. The food I ate was often not even in excess but I had developed such a negative association with so many items it was obsessive. I can walk past a shop selling items I used to crave and obsess over, and not have any connection whatsoever. I no longer have that burning desire to self harm- because that is what it is. Really. There are fewer and fewer rules that ‘won’t allow’ me to have this or that- because I just don’t want them anymore, or I can have a taste and be satisfied. This in itself is a miracle.  Such is the mind of a person carrying bulimia. What it boils down to is self-love. Or self-hate.

The words I speak over myself are now empowering, most of the time. The words I speak come directly from the Bible. I have tried affirmations. They are nice. They are like pretty flowers to brighten a room but they die, quickly. They are not from Truth. I speak the words that God speaks about me. They quicken my Spirit and make me alive. The Spirit knows Truth when it sees and hears it.

Through loving myself and accepting myself, because God loves and accepts me- no matter what; I can change. I have changed and will continue to change exponentially.  I use my thorough studies in psychology; neuro linguistic programming; fitness; and nutrition to work on a practical level. But without the words from God’s one true book of the Bible, nothing would instigate permanent and lasting change. I took a year out to study the Bible at Rhema Bible College. Here I developed an understanding and an amazing relationship with The Lord God.  That was in 2011 completing a Dip in Biblical Studies. The best year Spiritually of my life. Perhaps one of the hardest emotionally and physically.

But you see, God always shines through your darkest days, if you give Him permission; and reigns down on the great days!! He is the ultimate gentleman and will not force himself on you; will not push you, nor harass you. He waits at the door of your heart, and knocks gently, yet persistently, for you to answer and ask Him in for tea or coffee. Try it. My life has never been so abundantly blessed, so incredibly freed, so wonderfully positive since I asked Him in.

Even through death I am more blessed than even before.

I am all about control. I love to have it. Do not like being out of it. Just look at what happened when I jumped out of an aeroplane. I am an orderly person, and do live with rules and regulations. They are part of my personality. I like them. They make everything tidy and keep things in order. But I give everything to God now. Bulimia is a thing of the past and that’s why I can write about it.

  • I write to perhaps offer hope to anyone else out there who may experience moments of disorder. Because that is what it is- out of order 😉
  • I write to help, even if it is just one person, because YOU as that ONE person; YOU are important. Especially to The Lord.
  • I write because I do not think I am alone in having lived this nightmare. So whether you are someone or know someone who lives an eating ‘disorder’ for a long time or short time.. you are not alone. And if you start to face it; Speak it out and understand it; you are well on your way to destroying that issue.
  • I write because despite this being something most people won’t speak about, or are ashamed of; I am not. It is just another ‘thing’ that I allowed into my life and I have exited it out. No big deal. Nothing is a big deal. Why give it that power. It is ‘just’ something; like an ‘event’; that I experienced and passed. And perhaps because of it, I can reach out to you, or someone you know, to help guide them along the way. Perhaps this synopsis can be a light; a glimmer of hope or even a huge propulsion in the right direction.

Bulimia. It took me around 20 years to break the chain despite a university education, even further education, and immersion into a plethora of mind-body-soul strategies. Why? Because I was looking in all the wrong places for the key.

The heart. The Spirit. That is where the key is to break any chain you have.

Vashte BawdenYou are welcome to connect with me on facebook (inspiration and motivation); instagram (food pictures only so be aware of that); on this post or email me at info@vashte.com

I offer coaching sessions via skype if you are looking for a mentor or trainer to move you from a stuck place, into a place of growth and empowerment. Ask me about it. 

God bless you and thank you for hanging with me here. I hope this journey has shown you some truth into a little part that has made me who I am today; and given you hope for your very own future. It’s a bitch living life blaming other people, things or circumstances for what happens in your own life. Take ownership back, over EVERYTHING.

Subscribe to my webpage!!– the link is at the top right corner- and you will be updated via email when I post on this site.

Xx Vashte xx

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SkyDive ByronBay. What WAS I thinking!!!

by Vashte on February 20, 2014

I jumped. I really jumped!!

www.vashte.com Byron Jump

From the video you can see the moment I lost all sense and sensibility when I jumped out of a perfectly good place, 14,000 feet above sea level to hurtle at a mere 200 kms an hour towards earth. It really is not pretty. Attached to the back of me is a man. He is cool, calm and collected. I was absolutely not!

Vashte.com Jump Byron

  • Note the complete loss of colour from the neck up, loss of colour to the lips; shielded by a heavy layer of makeup on the face.
  • Note my poor neck. I think I pulled all my neck muscles as I looked this way all the way down.
  • Note the open mouth. In pretty much every photo….lol

Vashte.com Jump Byron

  • Note the bright red chest and collar bones.

www.vashte.com what have i done!!

  • Note the wide eyes, tiinnnnyyyy, pupils, the constant licking of the lips..Somehow my lips no longer fits my mouth….?!

Vashte Byron Jump

I AM smiling OK?! THAT IS my smile dude. You get a grimace as I’m trying to play along to the ‘fun’ you guys are clearly having!! (Oh shiiiiit..what HAVE I got myself into!!)

I am so scared. This is sooo totally not normal. Crazy eyes.

Vashte.com Skydive

My parachutist was very experienced, and put me at ease as much as it is possible to put one at ease when they are clearly doing something so far out of their comfort zone one has to question the reasoning and sanity behind it…?!

It was a perfect day in Ballina. Stunning in fact. Perfect conditions for a first time jumper. For many years I have contemplated jumping out of an aeroplane with a parachute attached. Never have I brought myself to do it.. until now. I don’t know what changed.

Vashte.com Byron Skydive

Well, maybe I do.

For the first time in a very long time (perhaps ever), I am beginning to feel safe and secure. Since 2011 I have been running around with my adrenals in overdrive the entire time reassuring myself that I was fine. And I was. In actual fact I have never felt more alive. Nothing like death to throw life ones face.  I guess that’s a way to put a positive spin on it.

So now, I feel enveloped in safety. Security. Surety.

Vashte.com Byron Jump

I am not sure I have ever let myself experience these things to the degree I am today. It is amazing. I recommend it! And yet, in allowing this I can feel my adrenals slowing down even more. And this scares me.

So I went looking for the adrenalin buzz.

I wanted that high those adrenalin junkies all seek..and get apparently. I wanted it for the day. To feel the high of life. Natural but forced excitement to have me bouncing off the walls and into infinity again. Because in my security, I am letting that go. Well that’s how it feels sometimes. So jumping out of a place ought to slap me around a bit, wouldn’t you think?

Slap me around is the word.

One of my favourite sayings is “Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars’’. Perhaps I mean it literally! Some people are programmed for air time. It scares the crap out of me. I like to run, short or long distances…I don’t mind. But I’m rarely far from the ground. And have never hurtled like a space cowboy AT it! Until now.  Roller-coaster rides used to thrill me to a point, but underlying it all I was petrified. Now that I am older and wiser… I am OK with admitting this… I’m petrified with this sort of behaviour. I quite like the earth, with me standing on it.  My ears wouldn’t equalise when I tried to scuba dive as well- that was a bummer as that was quite beautiful and surreal down there… but I’m figuring … as some people are vegan; others meat eaters; some like raw foods; others love a good home roast… so it is for adventure seekers!!!

Some are designed to spend time in the air. As much time as possible! Like all those instructors who went up with us. Something has to be said for the thrill seekers- their eyes- wow. Crystal clear and filled with life and excitement.

My eyes, showed utter horror and fear. I have to give myself some credit as I think I did a pretty good job of covering up the terror until we got to the open door of the plane (which I was sitting right next too btw); and then my survival mechanism smacked my consciousness aside, telling it in no uncertain terms that the pathetic little show of ‘’I’m cool, calm and excited is WAY OVER BABY, time to let the truth out.”

FARRRRKKKKKKK

vashte.com OMG!!!!

Seriously. Dangling from another human being, complete stranger, with my life entirely under his control; 14,000 feet above the earth, OUTSIDE the freaking aircraft…. with him telling me to look DOWN (isn’t that what I’m exactly NOT supposed to to); wind smashing me at however fast we are travelling in the lovely little aeroplane above the sea; its COLD dude!! (Breath Vashte just breath)… Why am I not hot from adrenalin!!! Petrified. That’s the best word to describe how I was feeling. Now look up…what?! Seriously wtf???? Look up at what???? Oh the camera. Smile? You have GOT to be kidding me. Note the shortness of breath, the worry lines etched across my forehead– I look like a rolly polly dog. Quite frankly I don’t CARE! (Don’t you worry, I had prayed the night before and all the way up- like I was going to take any chances! All my sins had been forgiven I am sure of it!!) And finally we tumble.

vashte.com petrified

Into …nothing. Somersault, in thin air. Wooahhhh. Literally. And rocket towards the ground faster than a speeding bullet. Surely? Can’t breathe, Oh My G. This is scary. It’s going forever. So loooong. He hasn’t pulled the shoot. Mann…through some clouds, woooah.Cold. Really cold. Still can’t breathe. Yes I can..no I can’t…. Vashte- pull yourself together woman!!!!  It’s a long way down you know. Stuff being pulled from a plane without a parachute- there is a lot of time to think whilst plummeting that fast towards earth. Too much time. Jowls flapping and my skin flapping around trying to depart from my body… it’s so wrong on so many levels …. There goes the botox. Hahaha In actual fact,  I’d recommend not jumping with Botox- you’d just waste the stuff- the speed at which your metabolism goes to- pfst gone in a flash with a jump. Now that’s funny.

vashte.com Jumper

Boom. FINALLY the chute is pulled and I can breathe. Farrrrkkkkkkk. With the chute pulled we could drift gracefully down, but noooooo. Selwyn gives me the controls and gets me to pull hard to the right and then to the left. Yeah. Not funny. Seriously…. I think when they tried to make up the video and pictures they may have been hard pressed to find shots of me screaming for fun. Petrified till we landed. And that’s a fact.

vashte.com skydive

I jumped for joy on landing  because it was OVER at last. I didn’t want to tell him that. He obviously loves this stuff. Me. I crashed and burned 30 minutes after landing. Almost vomited on a number of occasions as we drove to Byron., and for some reason gravity in Byron was so much heavier that afternoon.. I was dragging myself up the street!!! Surreal.  The intention was to catch up with one of my BFFs there but after eating, which helped momentarily, I was back to close to comatose state, and had to drive straight home to lie in darkness till the next day.

vashte.com Skydive landed

Would I recommend it? Absolutely. I jumped with Byron Bay- Sky Dive The Beach and Beyond; click here for their website –  and Selwyn was my instructor. The company is brilliant, professional, very friendly. Awesome team.

vashte.com Skydive ByronThe guy deserved a hug. Technically speaking, he just saved my life.  I’m ALIVE!!!!!

It was way out of my comfort zone. Yes, I am glad I did it. I can cross it off my bucket list finally, but inherently I knew it was not a natural thing for me to seek out. I was looking for the high…and used it all up on the way down being so terrified. Once landed my body just shut down. That sucked! I was surprised and disappointed the high didn’t last but having looked back on the video ( I couldn’t bring myself to watch it till the next day); I can see that if I had continued that buzz I would have been greedy, and the crash following would have been even more scary.

I’m not normal. On so many counts.

I have spoken to many others who didn’t feel this way- they loved it. I was petrified. Horses for courses huh, but I say, if you have contemplated a jump, then go do it. You only live once and stuff missing out on fun things in life.

Fun things are scary- especially when they take you out of the boundary conditions of the box you live in. I was well out of my boundary conditions. Perhaps this will help me open more doors to more adventures that are out of my ‘normal’ adventure box!

Do it!

It’s a blast!

Not once did I see my life flash before my eyes. So I knew I was not in any danger. That, I think, was the real head spin; My logic rationalising it out, and my unconscious self having a right royal hissy fit.

Stunning view on the way down. Personally, I prefer it from the window seat comfort of a plane or helicopter where I can breathe without fighting 200km wind rammed down my throat, or ice particles swallowed at that speed but …what a hoot.

Go jump. Try it on for size.

Watch the video HERE. It is 6 minutes of total adrenalin and…. new experience 😉

Vashte.com Byron Jump

vashte.com Skydive

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Vibrant Life

by Vashte on February 12, 2014

Here I am. In your face :) With a smile. Why frown?!

Vashte.com

In my posts on facebook, instagram and here on this site I like to keep an upbeat outlook on life. Why? Because so much we see and hear out there IS doom and gloom when it just doesn’t have to BE that way!

  • Have I lived a life without trouble? No.
  • Is there trouble in my life now? Sometimes.
  • Do I choose to dwell and marinate on the negative circumstance, or do I choose to figure out a way around those times- or through them. You guessed it- the second option. I choose to move through as often and as fast as I can.
  • Why don’t you try that too, if you haven’t already done so?

I have found that when I dwell on worry’s, or the hard situations ‘thrown” at me (could it be a possibility that I may have created that event myself….); or the unfairness in life (?!!)… well, that is what I dwell on and talk about. By dwelling on and talking more and more about these things, I’m sitting in my own little pigsty rolling in the mud. And then I wonder why life looks like, smells like and tastes like… crap!

All  problems are problems of our imagination; just as all solutions are solutions of the imagination. Think about that!

If the thoughts I constantly think are misery, lack-of, defeatist thoughts; then what are my actions likely to be? The same!!! Because as a man thinkith- so is he- A little quote from the Christian Bible. In the same breathe, if my thoughts are uplifting, happy and joy filled, what are my actions then likely to be as a direct result? The sameuplifting, happy and joy-filled. And when a person has those thoughts and those actions flowing- what is possible for that person?? ANYTHING THEY DESIRE.

  1. Strength comes from faith.
  2. Faith is believing in something unseen yet, and perhaps not experienced in the body yet.
  3. Faith is believing.
  4. Believing is power.
  5. With power you can overcome the worst nightmare you can dream up, in your reality.
  6. You CAN.

Every single day people are rising up out of the darkness and into the light. In the light there are no secrets, there is no doubt, there is no fear. But we must make the FIRST MOVE. The first move is to just imagine what it might be like to have faith. Imagine what it might be like to believe that all things are possible. All things ARE possible to the one who believes in Christ Jesus. That, my friends, is a promise of God. And God keeps ALL of His promises. Unlike humans. Once we start to IMAGINE that these things are possible…they become so; as Truth states: as a man thinkth so it he! Because once we start imagining good things, what are we doing? We are thinking these things. If we are thinking these things, then what is a likely follow on effect …? We start DOING good thingsjust because. Not with the intention of getting something in return. Just because. And here-in lies the secret to a fun filled, ease filled life, with the ability to overcome when trouble rises. And trouble does come. This is life. Get with the programme.

Attitude will determine Outcome. Every. Single. Time.

I thought I would write this little post as I believe some people think that I am constantly ”up” and constantly positive. This is simply not true. You see, I, like you, are human too. I have good days and days where I would like to give myself a frontal lobotomy for the things I say and the things I do. On those days, I usually pull away from the maddening crowd and make some attempt at coming to terms with where the brain farts are coming from. I have a couple of people whom I may choose to confide in. It is never via an open forum social media platform :) That to me is unnecessary. The world does not need to hear my dirty laundry, unless I make it the world’s business. lol but what point is there in that, and quite frankly the world doesn’t care; it has enough of it’s own crap to try deal with let alone little ol me.

The higher the platform you put someone on is setting that person up for a higher fall as we are all human. We all make mistakes. Understand every person has their strengths and their weaknesses, be aware of them and love them anyway. I still have to allow others that right too as it is easy for us as humans to fall into ‘self’- righteousness– condemning others for behaviour we believe incorrect. Until we do it.

Join me in 2014 in allowing more forgiveness, more love, more acceptance, more tolerance into my life. Yours too perhaps. And understand that I too am human, don’t put me on a pedestal as I just might fall and I don’t like that; I fall hard. Same goes for anyone else in your life.

Here’s to an EMPOWERED 2014 with more understanding, more love and more truth than ever before.

xx Vashte xx

 

 

 

 

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